Ok Kids,
Only God knows what's going to happen in the future. We could plan and plan and plan and still, if it's not in His plan our plan does not come to pass. Missed connections and opportunities is God's hand at work, guiding us to where we need to be. That much I've learned in the past couple of years. I've come to accept things I cannot change.
Lately I've been focusing on a scripture from Ecclesiastes 7:8-9
"Better is the end of a thing than the beginning of it, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools"
For a good part of the winter of 2008/9 I focused on the doors that were closed in my life, as if I was too proud to admit that I couldn't make Brazil happen. So proud in fact that I completely missed a door that, while not busted wide open, was open enough for me to get my foot in. I think I'm going to K k k k Kathmandu -- it's really really where I'm going to.... :)
I'll keep you posted!
xxxPatricia
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Feliz Ano Novo!
Oi Bebes,
Everynight before I go to bed I pray for you guys and for all the children caught up situations such as ours. I hope that in 2009 things will be different but for now I don't have anything new to report. It's all still the same. Nothing is happening between my country and yours except that a bunch of grown-ups cannot seem to work out some wording on a letter which means nothing in the bigger scheme of things. I am very upset over this. I know you kids need a loving family, a place to call home, to grow and learn, to share and love. If I could change it in a minute I would, for all the orphans in the world but I can't. I know that your country is doing what they feel is the right thing regarding the wording and I don't see why my country can't just say "OK Brasil, have it your way". Sometimes adults are not that smart. To have children in need and have adults in want (so to speak) and not put them together to live happily ever after just doesn't make any sense to me.
So for now, as always talk to God and ask him for favors, ask him for a family and a stable loving environment, He'll give it to you I'm sure, one way or another...
xxxPatricia
Everynight before I go to bed I pray for you guys and for all the children caught up situations such as ours. I hope that in 2009 things will be different but for now I don't have anything new to report. It's all still the same. Nothing is happening between my country and yours except that a bunch of grown-ups cannot seem to work out some wording on a letter which means nothing in the bigger scheme of things. I am very upset over this. I know you kids need a loving family, a place to call home, to grow and learn, to share and love. If I could change it in a minute I would, for all the orphans in the world but I can't. I know that your country is doing what they feel is the right thing regarding the wording and I don't see why my country can't just say "OK Brasil, have it your way". Sometimes adults are not that smart. To have children in need and have adults in want (so to speak) and not put them together to live happily ever after just doesn't make any sense to me.
So for now, as always talk to God and ask him for favors, ask him for a family and a stable loving environment, He'll give it to you I'm sure, one way or another...
xxxPatricia
Monday, December 15, 2008
A Very Sad Stop Work Order
Oi Bebes,
I just received word from our attorney that my Italian police clearance finally came through, after having waited 4 months for the document. In normal circumstances I would be jumping up and down for joy. I am not, I'm incredibly saddened as I was informed by him to stop working on my dossier, that the problems between Brazil and the US regarding the Hague Convention are too vast and too complicated to hash out any time soon, if they are hashed out at all.
I just do not know what to say. God sure does work in mysterious ways and I just can't figure out why this is happening and why it's happening now. My heart hurts sooo bad in this moment but I seem to be getting used to the feeling. Since my mother's death I have become a master at maintaining my composure. Nothing has ever hurt me more than losing my mom, as you guys know -- it's the one thing we have in common thus far.
I don't see this as the end. I will not accept it as an end. I see it as the beginning of something quiet different, something I am yet unaware of. I'm guided by God's hands on a daily basis and you are too, so, with no end in sight, somehow I will move forward.
As always, before you go to bed ask God to connect us somehow, some way. I have a lot of faith in Him, I know He does no wrong.
xxxPatricia
I just received word from our attorney that my Italian police clearance finally came through, after having waited 4 months for the document. In normal circumstances I would be jumping up and down for joy. I am not, I'm incredibly saddened as I was informed by him to stop working on my dossier, that the problems between Brazil and the US regarding the Hague Convention are too vast and too complicated to hash out any time soon, if they are hashed out at all.
I just do not know what to say. God sure does work in mysterious ways and I just can't figure out why this is happening and why it's happening now. My heart hurts sooo bad in this moment but I seem to be getting used to the feeling. Since my mother's death I have become a master at maintaining my composure. Nothing has ever hurt me more than losing my mom, as you guys know -- it's the one thing we have in common thus far.
I don't see this as the end. I will not accept it as an end. I see it as the beginning of something quiet different, something I am yet unaware of. I'm guided by God's hands on a daily basis and you are too, so, with no end in sight, somehow I will move forward.
As always, before you go to bed ask God to connect us somehow, some way. I have a lot of faith in Him, I know He does no wrong.
xxxPatricia
Thursday, December 4, 2008
State of International Adoption
Oi Bebes,
I'm sooo incredibly sad to report that on November 24th when both Consular Officers were to meet to discuss the Hague Convention on International Adoption and did not The meeting once again did not take place and now may not take place until after the new year. It is safe now to say that more than likely I will have to start from scratch as all my documents will officially expire in mid January.
In a legnthy discussion today with the Director of my agency he reported that both sides, Brazil and the US are in disagreement with the wording on two important documents. I could hear in his voice how upset he was over this situation. He just sighed and said he simply didn't know what to tell me or the other families. He told me he got very upset with a Judge in Rio when personally discussing the situation with him. The Director of my agency said that it absolutely baffled him that a country with millions of children living on the streets and countless children living in orphanages would close their doors to adopting children out to the United States. It seemed to him that the judge was very smug in saying that Brazil placed 27 children in US homes last year! Out of millions, I just don't get it.
Even more heartbreaking is the fact that it is estimated that over 75% of reputable, long standing agencies who have placed thousands of children with forever families will cease to function by the end of the year as the funds, public and private are no longer widely available. He told me that it broke his heart to have to let go more than half his staff especially during hard economic times but that our agency will remain standing and be able to continue with its advocacy and humanitarian work.
And so, in my last post we prayed for our little Russian boy... now let's pray for us and for orphans all over the world and for the families that are waiting to be together:
Dear God, we ask that you continue to watch over all the orphans of the world as well as all the at-risk children. We ask that you prepare us to help them and give us the streghnth and the smarts to do so in a timely fashion. We know that every day children die on the streets and at the hands of abusers and in orphanages, but now we ask that you minimze their suffering, their seperation anxiety, their broken hearts, their hunger. We know you will offer them comfort in their time of need and we thank you for that. Please begin the end of their suffering, however you choose.
And please God, we ask that you unite us somehow, someway, and soon. I promise you my kids will take care of other kids as I will teach them compassion and right action. I'll also teach them to walk with you and never to doubt you. Amen...
OK BEBES, just as always before you go to sleep, ask God to connect us and make this road less bumpy for all involved, everyone.
xxxMuito Amor
p.s.
Eu não o acharei nenhuma questão o que ele. Eu nunca abandonarei em você. É minhas crianças e eu farei algo eu posso para você; abandonarei minha vida como sei que agora tê-lo ambos seguro nos meus braços. Amo-o todo muito e plenamente sou cometido a fazer o que está correto por você.
Amo-o
Mommy
I'm sooo incredibly sad to report that on November 24th when both Consular Officers were to meet to discuss the Hague Convention on International Adoption and did not The meeting once again did not take place and now may not take place until after the new year. It is safe now to say that more than likely I will have to start from scratch as all my documents will officially expire in mid January.
In a legnthy discussion today with the Director of my agency he reported that both sides, Brazil and the US are in disagreement with the wording on two important documents. I could hear in his voice how upset he was over this situation. He just sighed and said he simply didn't know what to tell me or the other families. He told me he got very upset with a Judge in Rio when personally discussing the situation with him. The Director of my agency said that it absolutely baffled him that a country with millions of children living on the streets and countless children living in orphanages would close their doors to adopting children out to the United States. It seemed to him that the judge was very smug in saying that Brazil placed 27 children in US homes last year! Out of millions, I just don't get it.
Even more heartbreaking is the fact that it is estimated that over 75% of reputable, long standing agencies who have placed thousands of children with forever families will cease to function by the end of the year as the funds, public and private are no longer widely available. He told me that it broke his heart to have to let go more than half his staff especially during hard economic times but that our agency will remain standing and be able to continue with its advocacy and humanitarian work.
And so, in my last post we prayed for our little Russian boy... now let's pray for us and for orphans all over the world and for the families that are waiting to be together:
Dear God, we ask that you continue to watch over all the orphans of the world as well as all the at-risk children. We ask that you prepare us to help them and give us the streghnth and the smarts to do so in a timely fashion. We know that every day children die on the streets and at the hands of abusers and in orphanages, but now we ask that you minimze their suffering, their seperation anxiety, their broken hearts, their hunger. We know you will offer them comfort in their time of need and we thank you for that. Please begin the end of their suffering, however you choose.
And please God, we ask that you unite us somehow, someway, and soon. I promise you my kids will take care of other kids as I will teach them compassion and right action. I'll also teach them to walk with you and never to doubt you. Amen...
OK BEBES, just as always before you go to sleep, ask God to connect us and make this road less bumpy for all involved, everyone.
xxxMuito Amor
p.s.
Eu não o acharei nenhuma questão o que ele. Eu nunca abandonarei em você. É minhas crianças e eu farei algo eu posso para você; abandonarei minha vida como sei que agora tê-lo ambos seguro nos meus braços. Amo-o todo muito e plenamente sou cometido a fazer o que está correto por você.
Amo-o
Mommy
A Little Russian Boy
Oi Bebes,
On November 20th in my last post I wrote that my agency had called me a couple of times and I didn't feel like calling them back because I didn't want to hear any bad news. Well, when I finally did get in touch with Kathy she asked me if I would consider a 5 year old Russian boy. I always promised myself I would take my first referral regardless of age, race, or gender. I did take it. I was sick to my stomach for a few days mulling him over in my head. He was ill and he needed extensive plastic surgery. Even as I write this my eyes are filling up with tears for this child. Could he had been your brother? Oh yeah he could have been. Could I have afforded his medical bills? No way. Should I have taken him in because of the promise I made to myself? No, I shouldn't have because my agency is fully aware of what kind of kids I requested and from where. I didn't pick Brazil because I threw a dart at a map. I picked Brazil for so many reasons, some very deep and some very practical. Plus, I'm so used to you guys, to the idea of you guys. I know that God sent that boy my way because it was a test in honesty with myself. I am finally aware of the fact that I am not Wonder Woman. I would have never been able to support a household and emotionally and financially support a sick child while working full time. Believe me if I had the money I'd have done it in a heart beat. I've never played the lotto so much in my life than since I started this adoption process...When I win every dime will go to orphaned children. Every dime.
I want us to pray for our little 5 year old Russian boy:
Dear God, please watch over this little boy and please let him find a forever family that will love and care for him the way he or any child deserves to be cared for. Please let him live a peaceful life and please let his emotional and physical pain subside and his days become bright and filled with hope.
As always bebes, please ask God to connect and please ask Him fix this mess with the Hague Convention. Amen.
(I'm writing a seperate post on the Hague)
Muito Amor
Mommy
On November 20th in my last post I wrote that my agency had called me a couple of times and I didn't feel like calling them back because I didn't want to hear any bad news. Well, when I finally did get in touch with Kathy she asked me if I would consider a 5 year old Russian boy. I always promised myself I would take my first referral regardless of age, race, or gender. I did take it. I was sick to my stomach for a few days mulling him over in my head. He was ill and he needed extensive plastic surgery. Even as I write this my eyes are filling up with tears for this child. Could he had been your brother? Oh yeah he could have been. Could I have afforded his medical bills? No way. Should I have taken him in because of the promise I made to myself? No, I shouldn't have because my agency is fully aware of what kind of kids I requested and from where. I didn't pick Brazil because I threw a dart at a map. I picked Brazil for so many reasons, some very deep and some very practical. Plus, I'm so used to you guys, to the idea of you guys. I know that God sent that boy my way because it was a test in honesty with myself. I am finally aware of the fact that I am not Wonder Woman. I would have never been able to support a household and emotionally and financially support a sick child while working full time. Believe me if I had the money I'd have done it in a heart beat. I've never played the lotto so much in my life than since I started this adoption process...When I win every dime will go to orphaned children. Every dime.
I want us to pray for our little 5 year old Russian boy:
Dear God, please watch over this little boy and please let him find a forever family that will love and care for him the way he or any child deserves to be cared for. Please let him live a peaceful life and please let his emotional and physical pain subside and his days become bright and filled with hope.
As always bebes, please ask God to connect and please ask Him fix this mess with the Hague Convention. Amen.
(I'm writing a seperate post on the Hague)
Muito Amor
Mommy
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Another Meeting and the Mountains
Oi Bebes,
I spent 4 beautiful days in the Great Smoky Mountains with Aunt Laura. It was a nice trip, hiking around, being so high up, kinda like I was in heaven. I went there because I wanted to feel closer to my mother, grandma Rosie. It's like she's around me in the mountains, her and God. It's almost a year, on November 28, it will be a year that she's gone. I miss her so much there are no words to describe how bad I feel. I want to thank you bebes for getting me over the initial shock of losing my mother. I was kept incredibly busy doing things for the adoption and you both filled a void in my heart. It hurts me that I can't do the same thing for you both right now. I just want to bring you home to Glendale and love you and cherish you and give you security and teach you everything I know. When I was in the mountains I thought about you both constantly and how you might feel being coddled by the sky, the woods, the clouds. I've attached a picture of the cabin that Aunt Laura and I stayed at, and I thought about you guys on the deck (well, actually climbing down it and it made me nervous! lol). Soon though, one day I'll bring you there and after all day of hiking we'll start a little fire, lean back in the jacuzzi, and relax in each others arms -- we'll be a family, albeit a tired one!
Another meeting is set for Monday November 24 in Rio. I truly hope that the meeting will actually take place and that all will be ironed out. I'm remaining positive. Yesterday I received an e-mail from our Brazil specialist and today she called and left a message. I have to be honest -- I'm not that much in the mood for any bad news and so I haven't listened to her message yet or returned her e-mail. I will though figure things out in the morning and report back soon.
As always, remember to ask God to connect us somehow, some way. To the connectivity regard, I've been thinking that I might come to you both. Volunteer a few months out of my life, dossier in hand -- I'll write more about that when I figure out if I could actually do it. I've always got something up my sleeve, always a plan B.
xxxMiuto Miuto AMOR --
Mommy
I spent 4 beautiful days in the Great Smoky Mountains with Aunt Laura. It was a nice trip, hiking around, being so high up, kinda like I was in heaven. I went there because I wanted to feel closer to my mother, grandma Rosie. It's like she's around me in the mountains, her and God. It's almost a year, on November 28, it will be a year that she's gone. I miss her so much there are no words to describe how bad I feel. I want to thank you bebes for getting me over the initial shock of losing my mother. I was kept incredibly busy doing things for the adoption and you both filled a void in my heart. It hurts me that I can't do the same thing for you both right now. I just want to bring you home to Glendale and love you and cherish you and give you security and teach you everything I know. When I was in the mountains I thought about you both constantly and how you might feel being coddled by the sky, the woods, the clouds. I've attached a picture of the cabin that Aunt Laura and I stayed at, and I thought about you guys on the deck (well, actually climbing down it and it made me nervous! lol). Soon though, one day I'll bring you there and after all day of hiking we'll start a little fire, lean back in the jacuzzi, and relax in each others arms -- we'll be a family, albeit a tired one!
Another meeting is set for Monday November 24 in Rio. I truly hope that the meeting will actually take place and that all will be ironed out. I'm remaining positive. Yesterday I received an e-mail from our Brazil specialist and today she called and left a message. I have to be honest -- I'm not that much in the mood for any bad news and so I haven't listened to her message yet or returned her e-mail. I will though figure things out in the morning and report back soon.
As always, remember to ask God to connect us somehow, some way. To the connectivity regard, I've been thinking that I might come to you both. Volunteer a few months out of my life, dossier in hand -- I'll write more about that when I figure out if I could actually do it. I've always got something up my sleeve, always a plan B.
xxxMiuto Miuto AMOR --
Mommy
Thursday, October 23, 2008
US/Brazil Consulate Meeting
Oi Bebes,
I received the following e-mail this afternoon:
Good Afternoon!
I am sorry to inform you that the meeting yesterday at the US Consulate
was cancelled. All we know at this point is that they are in the
process of rescheduling.
Once a new date has been confirmed, I will let everyone know.
As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Kathy,
Brazil Coordinator
I'm upset and I'm pissed off. I don't know what to say or think.
Back in June when we had some other set backs I told you guys to keep in mind that His timing is perfect and now on a daily basis I have to remember that, and believe me I'm struggling with it. I know things will work out the way they're intended, the way they're supposed to work out. I keep on telling myself that.
I look back at this whole blog and I think, wow, some of the things I wrote months ago perhaps were meant to prepare me for today -- life is for learning, all great things in your life you have to fight for, and a family is what you make of it.
Whatever it takes bebes, whatever it takes.
Don't forget to ask God to connect us, talk to Him before you fall asleep, ask Him what's up and soon we'll find the answers.
xxxmuitomuitomuito AMOR
Mommy
I received the following e-mail this afternoon:
Good Afternoon!
I am sorry to inform you that the meeting yesterday at the US Consulate
was cancelled. All we know at this point is that they are in the
process of rescheduling.
Once a new date has been confirmed, I will let everyone know.
As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Kathy,
Brazil Coordinator
I'm upset and I'm pissed off. I don't know what to say or think.
Back in June when we had some other set backs I told you guys to keep in mind that His timing is perfect and now on a daily basis I have to remember that, and believe me I'm struggling with it. I know things will work out the way they're intended, the way they're supposed to work out. I keep on telling myself that.
I look back at this whole blog and I think, wow, some of the things I wrote months ago perhaps were meant to prepare me for today -- life is for learning, all great things in your life you have to fight for, and a family is what you make of it.
Whatever it takes bebes, whatever it takes.
Don't forget to ask God to connect us, talk to Him before you fall asleep, ask Him what's up and soon we'll find the answers.
xxxmuitomuitomuito AMOR
Mommy
Friday, October 17, 2008
Explanations and Honesty
Oi Bebes,
I know it has been a long time since I've written. I honestly don't even know where to begin at this point except to say that God's guiding us down some path we know nothing about but I know the outcome will be what is right for that time. I don't know if that makes any sense but I'll do my best to explain.
I do not want to get into the specifics but sometime in late July things started to go a bit haywire with the adoption process. From there on in prices have gone up (I didn't care about that though, I'm good at finding money when I need to) the requirements have changed and now, minutes ago I received an e-mail saying that the adoption process between Brazil and the United States has been temporarily suspended. A meeting to resolve certain issues regarding compliance with the Hague Convention on International Adoptions was to take place on September 11, 2008 and did not. It is rescheduled for October 22, 2008 but I am told it MAY NOT happen. This is not a good sign.
I know everything happens for a reason and I've been saying it all along. This is sooo hard for me to say but I've been thinking lately that maybe I should wait a bit, the economy is bad, my job is not particularly stable. And then I think, I can't wait, because you guys have waited too long. I've been completely torn.
Many monkey wrenches have been thrown into this process and I must wonder who's been tossing them my way. Is it God letting me know that perhaps right now it's not the right time for me, for us? Is He allowing this to happen because he has a better plan. I do believe with all my heart, really with all my heart, that that is the case. He's got a better plan for us. A safer plan, a more secure plan than I have. Maybe I needed this time, these monkey wrenches thrown into the mix so I don't go along too fast or without a net. Oh brother, I don't know what His plan is, I have no idea. One thing is for sure, I know that whatever the outcome it will be best for all of us.
So while I continue to wait I'll focus on scoping out base camp, don't think I forgot about that! I've been working very hard on that -- maybe it will be set up before you come, now that would be even better and maybe they'll be room for 5! Maybe it will be a house, but with the economy the way it is it might be a giant 4 season tent! Whatever it is it will be fun because we will be in it together. You'll fall asleep in my arms regardless.
I promise you this: Whatever happens I will never EVER stop coming for you. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'll do whatever it takes.
Muito Muito Muito Amor
Mommy
I know it has been a long time since I've written. I honestly don't even know where to begin at this point except to say that God's guiding us down some path we know nothing about but I know the outcome will be what is right for that time. I don't know if that makes any sense but I'll do my best to explain.
I do not want to get into the specifics but sometime in late July things started to go a bit haywire with the adoption process. From there on in prices have gone up (I didn't care about that though, I'm good at finding money when I need to) the requirements have changed and now, minutes ago I received an e-mail saying that the adoption process between Brazil and the United States has been temporarily suspended. A meeting to resolve certain issues regarding compliance with the Hague Convention on International Adoptions was to take place on September 11, 2008 and did not. It is rescheduled for October 22, 2008 but I am told it MAY NOT happen. This is not a good sign.
I know everything happens for a reason and I've been saying it all along. This is sooo hard for me to say but I've been thinking lately that maybe I should wait a bit, the economy is bad, my job is not particularly stable. And then I think, I can't wait, because you guys have waited too long. I've been completely torn.
Many monkey wrenches have been thrown into this process and I must wonder who's been tossing them my way. Is it God letting me know that perhaps right now it's not the right time for me, for us? Is He allowing this to happen because he has a better plan. I do believe with all my heart, really with all my heart, that that is the case. He's got a better plan for us. A safer plan, a more secure plan than I have. Maybe I needed this time, these monkey wrenches thrown into the mix so I don't go along too fast or without a net. Oh brother, I don't know what His plan is, I have no idea. One thing is for sure, I know that whatever the outcome it will be best for all of us.
So while I continue to wait I'll focus on scoping out base camp, don't think I forgot about that! I've been working very hard on that -- maybe it will be set up before you come, now that would be even better and maybe they'll be room for 5! Maybe it will be a house, but with the economy the way it is it might be a giant 4 season tent! Whatever it is it will be fun because we will be in it together. You'll fall asleep in my arms regardless.
I promise you this: Whatever happens I will never EVER stop coming for you. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'll do whatever it takes.
Muito Muito Muito Amor
Mommy
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
God Did Something Yesterday
Oi Bebes,
I felt God's hand at work yesterday. I was in panic mode, feeling sick to my stomach, anxiety ridden, wanted to bang my head against the wall and knock myself out so the feeling would just pass.
I begged God to do something for me, I asked and asked, and almost immediately, what I needed to happen happened. Clearly I asked for something I shouldn't have and God made it happen but since He's da bomb, that's all he did was make it happen. Nothing further and for that I am so grateful. It was like magic. It was as if God was saying "I absolutely hear you and will lend you a hand right now because you are in panic mode but know this is not my will nor my plan for you"
I know this might not make any sense to you but I wanted you to know about the power of God because it is something amazing. What I prayed for yesterday had no rhyme or reason, why I got it after so long was none other than the fact that God was hearing me loud and clear. Why nothing came of it was HIM protecting me ONCE again!
Soon He'll be protecting all of us under one roof. Please ask him as always to connect us and protect us while we wait.
Muito Muito Amor,
Mommy
I felt God's hand at work yesterday. I was in panic mode, feeling sick to my stomach, anxiety ridden, wanted to bang my head against the wall and knock myself out so the feeling would just pass.
I begged God to do something for me, I asked and asked, and almost immediately, what I needed to happen happened. Clearly I asked for something I shouldn't have and God made it happen but since He's da bomb, that's all he did was make it happen. Nothing further and for that I am so grateful. It was like magic. It was as if God was saying "I absolutely hear you and will lend you a hand right now because you are in panic mode but know this is not my will nor my plan for you"
I know this might not make any sense to you but I wanted you to know about the power of God because it is something amazing. What I prayed for yesterday had no rhyme or reason, why I got it after so long was none other than the fact that God was hearing me loud and clear. Why nothing came of it was HIM protecting me ONCE again!
Soon He'll be protecting all of us under one roof. Please ask him as always to connect us and protect us while we wait.
Muito Muito Amor,
Mommy
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Childhood Dreams...
Oi Bebes,
I know that our childhood dreams will be much different and I feel a bit selfish telling you about mine, but I will because while some were from very early on, most were born when I was your age. And so here they are:
To be free: when I was a kid I thought that to be free meant to run all over and not just inside the gate or down the road. Now I know it to be different. Freedom is a mindset. Sometimes though, one feels freer in different places.
To travel all over the world: Ever since I could remember I've always had a very strong wanderlust. All my life I've almost always wanted to be somewhere else. As an adult I don't regret it for one second. My wanderlust made me who I am and it's not over yet. These days though, I've realized that I don't have to go too far to feel it.
To help people: I don't know how to explain this one. I think it's something that you're born with. I can't remember a time when I didn't help someone in need. That goes for animals too. Now I'm lucky enough to have a career, which marries my love of education and my childhood dream to help people. I suppose life could be worse.
To adopt: yes, I have wanted to adopt since I was very, very young. Since the minute my mother explained the concept of adoption, I knew I would do it when I grew up. I've realized that my desire to adopt has freed me from the weight that most women carry on their shoulders... the biological clock. I never heard the tic tock tic tock of that clock. Not having a biological clock has allowed me to do so many things I wouldn't have done had I married early to start a family. I have enjoyed my life immensely thus far. I look forward to now enjoying it in a different way.
To write a novel: One night some years back I was sitting on the beach with a friend and we had a nice little fire going. I was reading him bits and pieces of Verso when I realized that it was a thinly veiled novel of some fantasy that I was holding on to for years. I hated that writing the book had become a monkey on my back and like all the monkey's I've had on back in the past, I shook it off. Into the fire. Years of typed pages and hand written notes burned. It was one the most liberating things I've ever done. A couple of years ago I found an old clipboard in the garage. On the clip-board was the first chapter. I cried. Not because it was gone but because of the awesome memories I have of that fantasy -- and then I realized, it wasn't really a fantasy after-all. Now I write for different reasons. When I was a kid I guess I thought that writers only wrote novels. I was wrong. Fact remains though, that I do write, just not fiction. Well, not yet anyway.
And there you have it. I'm living out my childhood dreams. And it's all connected. I've got the freedom to travel to get my kids and to write about it in my blog. Life is really good and it's all because of you, my yet unknown children.
Muito Muito Muito Amor e Beijas
Mommy
I know that our childhood dreams will be much different and I feel a bit selfish telling you about mine, but I will because while some were from very early on, most were born when I was your age. And so here they are:
To be free: when I was a kid I thought that to be free meant to run all over and not just inside the gate or down the road. Now I know it to be different. Freedom is a mindset. Sometimes though, one feels freer in different places.
To travel all over the world: Ever since I could remember I've always had a very strong wanderlust. All my life I've almost always wanted to be somewhere else. As an adult I don't regret it for one second. My wanderlust made me who I am and it's not over yet. These days though, I've realized that I don't have to go too far to feel it.
To help people: I don't know how to explain this one. I think it's something that you're born with. I can't remember a time when I didn't help someone in need. That goes for animals too. Now I'm lucky enough to have a career, which marries my love of education and my childhood dream to help people. I suppose life could be worse.
To adopt: yes, I have wanted to adopt since I was very, very young. Since the minute my mother explained the concept of adoption, I knew I would do it when I grew up. I've realized that my desire to adopt has freed me from the weight that most women carry on their shoulders... the biological clock. I never heard the tic tock tic tock of that clock. Not having a biological clock has allowed me to do so many things I wouldn't have done had I married early to start a family. I have enjoyed my life immensely thus far. I look forward to now enjoying it in a different way.
To write a novel: One night some years back I was sitting on the beach with a friend and we had a nice little fire going. I was reading him bits and pieces of Verso when I realized that it was a thinly veiled novel of some fantasy that I was holding on to for years. I hated that writing the book had become a monkey on my back and like all the monkey's I've had on back in the past, I shook it off. Into the fire. Years of typed pages and hand written notes burned. It was one the most liberating things I've ever done. A couple of years ago I found an old clipboard in the garage. On the clip-board was the first chapter. I cried. Not because it was gone but because of the awesome memories I have of that fantasy -- and then I realized, it wasn't really a fantasy after-all. Now I write for different reasons. When I was a kid I guess I thought that writers only wrote novels. I was wrong. Fact remains though, that I do write, just not fiction. Well, not yet anyway.
And there you have it. I'm living out my childhood dreams. And it's all connected. I've got the freedom to travel to get my kids and to write about it in my blog. Life is really good and it's all because of you, my yet unknown children.
Muito Muito Muito Amor e Beijas
Mommy
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Hitting the Long Shot
Oi Bebes,
I've hit the long shot before and I'll hit it again. In the past few weeks some monkey wrenches have been thrown my way but what it comes down to in the long run is that I try harder, work more efficiently and get the job done any way I can. It's that simple and soon when I'm tucking you both in I'll look back and laugh at this mess. I'm sure of it and I PROMISE.
The one thing that I will strive to teach you is to be strong minded individuals who can have whatever they want when they put their minds to it. A brick wall stops only people who aren't strong enough to break it down, or smart enough to scale it.
As always, ask God to connect us, and protect us while we wait.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
I've hit the long shot before and I'll hit it again. In the past few weeks some monkey wrenches have been thrown my way but what it comes down to in the long run is that I try harder, work more efficiently and get the job done any way I can. It's that simple and soon when I'm tucking you both in I'll look back and laugh at this mess. I'm sure of it and I PROMISE.
The one thing that I will strive to teach you is to be strong minded individuals who can have whatever they want when they put their minds to it. A brick wall stops only people who aren't strong enough to break it down, or smart enough to scale it.
As always, ask God to connect us, and protect us while we wait.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Home Study -- Draft!
Oi Bebes,
I received a draft of my home study which I am going through now. I have to supply two more documents which should be done by tomorrow and they it will be stamped FINAL! Final and OFFICIAL -- I could then begin the grant writing process and hopefully someone will fork over some cash! Here's some bits and pieces of our home study, some friends have been interested as to what it says and what kind of report it actually is... I was surprised at the simplicity of it when I read it!
MOTIVATION FOR ADOPTION
Ms. Safina shares that when she was six years old, her mother explained what adoption was. Since then, the idea of adoption intrigued her and she grew up feeling that she would grow her family through adoption. Ms. Safina states that at this point in her life she is in a secure financial situation and is able to financially handle having a family. She feels that she is also comfortable with herself and confident that this is the right time for her to be a mother.
APPLICANT FAMILY BACKGROUND
Patricia Safina was born in Queens, New York on December 16, 1967. She has two older brothers. Ms. Safina has good memories of her childhood. “When I was about eight years old my family moved to Glendale. We lived in a two family house with my grandparents living downstairs. Because my brothers were much older, I grew up feeling almost like an only child. I recall having great friends in the neighborhood and enjoyed playing with my friends.” Ms. Safina remembers that her family owned a house in upstate New York, where they would spend summers. She states that she has very fond memories of those summers as that is where she learned a lot of things such as swimming, gardening, sports, etc. Ms. Safina says that she enjoyed school and graduated from Forest Hills High School in 1985. She attended Queensborough Community College from 1990 to 1992 and earned her Associates. At the age of twenty-two Ms. Safina decided to attend school full time and earned her Bachelors Degree from Queens College in 1994. She traveled to Florence, Italy and stayed there for five years returning to New York in 1999. She worked together with her bothers for a few years and went back to school in 2005 attending the School of Public Affairs at Baruch College, earning a Masters of Science in Education in 2007. Ms. Safina shares that all during her education her parents were very supportive and helpful.
Ms. Safina’s mother, Rose Tilotta Safina died in November 2007. Ms. Safina shares that she still misses her mother. “My mother and I had a great relationship. We were together all the time. She was an amazing woman, she was always there for anything and everything I needed. She taught me everything she knew and encouraged and supported me in all I did. She was unconditionally dedicated to her family.” Ms. Safina has two brothers. The oldest Andrew Safina is fifty years old. He lives in California. He has three children, Julian age nineteen, Christian age sixteen and Austin age thirteen. “Andrew is a lot like me, he is a lot of fun. He is easy going and loves kids very much.” Her second brother is Rosario Safina who is forty-seven years old. He lives with his wife, Linda and their twelve year old son, Paolo in New York City. “Rosario tends to be very protective. I know he is there if I need him.” Ms. Safina shares that she has a close relationship with her brothers. She states that they are both glad for her and support her decision to adopt.
SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
Ms. Safina is single and has never been married. She shares that she has had some very good relationships but none was the right one. “My parents were married for fifty-four years and had a great relationship, that is what I want for myself. I am at a point in my life where I am not willing to settle for less than what feels right for my life. I still date, but I am more choosy. I am very confident and sure of myself, that I can accomplish what I want as a single woman.” She says that when she lived in Florence and was 29 years old she was engaged, but she wanted to move back to New York and he did not want to leave Florence. She eventually moved back to New York two years later and the romantic part of the relationship ended, but they remained friends. Ms. Safina states that she is not in a relationship right now, nor is she actively looking for a husband. She says that, “ I am very comfortable living as a single woman. I have many friends through work and in the neighborhood and am happy with the way things are.” She states that if a relationship developed , the man would have to accept and love her children.
RELIGION
Ms. Safina is Catholic. She states that she belongs to her local parish, and attends occasionally. “I am a spiritual woman, and I believe in being a good person and treating others as I would like to be treated. I was raised Catholic and feel that it is important for children to believe in God and to learn values and faith. I plan to encourage them to continue their religious training.”
End
***and I'll leave it at that for now -- SO for any of my friends who were wondering what was written in a home study, there it is -- how I worried about this process, and it's here and gone! God's got my back!
OK bebes,
I have to go now, remember to ask God to connect us and protect us while we wait for each other. I'm doing whatever I can to make this process go a little faster and I promise you, in the end it will all be worth it! God is making very special things happen now, I know it, I could FEEL IT.
xxxMuito Muito AMOR
Mommy
I received a draft of my home study which I am going through now. I have to supply two more documents which should be done by tomorrow and they it will be stamped FINAL! Final and OFFICIAL -- I could then begin the grant writing process and hopefully someone will fork over some cash! Here's some bits and pieces of our home study, some friends have been interested as to what it says and what kind of report it actually is... I was surprised at the simplicity of it when I read it!
MOTIVATION FOR ADOPTION
Ms. Safina shares that when she was six years old, her mother explained what adoption was. Since then, the idea of adoption intrigued her and she grew up feeling that she would grow her family through adoption. Ms. Safina states that at this point in her life she is in a secure financial situation and is able to financially handle having a family. She feels that she is also comfortable with herself and confident that this is the right time for her to be a mother.
APPLICANT FAMILY BACKGROUND
Patricia Safina was born in Queens, New York on December 16, 1967. She has two older brothers. Ms. Safina has good memories of her childhood. “When I was about eight years old my family moved to Glendale. We lived in a two family house with my grandparents living downstairs. Because my brothers were much older, I grew up feeling almost like an only child. I recall having great friends in the neighborhood and enjoyed playing with my friends.” Ms. Safina remembers that her family owned a house in upstate New York, where they would spend summers. She states that she has very fond memories of those summers as that is where she learned a lot of things such as swimming, gardening, sports, etc. Ms. Safina says that she enjoyed school and graduated from Forest Hills High School in 1985. She attended Queensborough Community College from 1990 to 1992 and earned her Associates. At the age of twenty-two Ms. Safina decided to attend school full time and earned her Bachelors Degree from Queens College in 1994. She traveled to Florence, Italy and stayed there for five years returning to New York in 1999. She worked together with her bothers for a few years and went back to school in 2005 attending the School of Public Affairs at Baruch College, earning a Masters of Science in Education in 2007. Ms. Safina shares that all during her education her parents were very supportive and helpful.
Ms. Safina’s mother, Rose Tilotta Safina died in November 2007. Ms. Safina shares that she still misses her mother. “My mother and I had a great relationship. We were together all the time. She was an amazing woman, she was always there for anything and everything I needed. She taught me everything she knew and encouraged and supported me in all I did. She was unconditionally dedicated to her family.” Ms. Safina has two brothers. The oldest Andrew Safina is fifty years old. He lives in California. He has three children, Julian age nineteen, Christian age sixteen and Austin age thirteen. “Andrew is a lot like me, he is a lot of fun. He is easy going and loves kids very much.” Her second brother is Rosario Safina who is forty-seven years old. He lives with his wife, Linda and their twelve year old son, Paolo in New York City. “Rosario tends to be very protective. I know he is there if I need him.” Ms. Safina shares that she has a close relationship with her brothers. She states that they are both glad for her and support her decision to adopt.
SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
Ms. Safina is single and has never been married. She shares that she has had some very good relationships but none was the right one. “My parents were married for fifty-four years and had a great relationship, that is what I want for myself. I am at a point in my life where I am not willing to settle for less than what feels right for my life. I still date, but I am more choosy. I am very confident and sure of myself, that I can accomplish what I want as a single woman.” She says that when she lived in Florence and was 29 years old she was engaged, but she wanted to move back to New York and he did not want to leave Florence. She eventually moved back to New York two years later and the romantic part of the relationship ended, but they remained friends. Ms. Safina states that she is not in a relationship right now, nor is she actively looking for a husband. She says that, “ I am very comfortable living as a single woman. I have many friends through work and in the neighborhood and am happy with the way things are.” She states that if a relationship developed , the man would have to accept and love her children.
RELIGION
Ms. Safina is Catholic. She states that she belongs to her local parish, and attends occasionally. “I am a spiritual woman, and I believe in being a good person and treating others as I would like to be treated. I was raised Catholic and feel that it is important for children to believe in God and to learn values and faith. I plan to encourage them to continue their religious training.”
End
***and I'll leave it at that for now -- SO for any of my friends who were wondering what was written in a home study, there it is -- how I worried about this process, and it's here and gone! God's got my back!
OK bebes,
I have to go now, remember to ask God to connect us and protect us while we wait for each other. I'm doing whatever I can to make this process go a little faster and I promise you, in the end it will all be worth it! God is making very special things happen now, I know it, I could FEEL IT.
xxxMuito Muito AMOR
Mommy
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Life is for Learning...
Oi Bebes,
Below are some sentences from my favorite of all time songs -- songs that I remember from my early childhood, with my hair grown past my butt and my peace signs all over the place, from most of my t-shirts and pants to the walls of my bedroom to my little hands -- Yep, my friends might say -- that's her...lol.
We are star dust, we are golden...
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams...
Give me spots on my apples...but leave me the birds and the bees...please
Everything will bring a chain of love...
I like to dream yes, yes, right between my sound machine...
When I come home from a hard day's work and you're waiting there, not a care in the world...
and finally (this brings us into the new millenium, btw)
I feel there is nothing I can't do, yeah
I titled this entry, Life is for Learning, because 1) it comes from one of my fav songs, Woodstock by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and 2) because I've been learning a lot lately. First, I'll be with the DOE for another 2 years and have no angst inside of me whatsoever as I have had in the past. After trying to 'run away from home' my whole entire life, and succeeding for a time (a few times actually, lol) I've come to realize that the universe has been conspiring, with the help God of course, to get me to stay in Queens and for the first time since 2000 I'm ok with it. Really ok.
I spoke earlier about my childhood because I had such a great one. My parents gave us some great adventures that's for sure -- and all of them took place upstate. Ardonia, where I learned to swim, to ride a bike, to do cartwheels, to climb trees, to bake apple pies, where I twisted my ankle for the first time, where I learned to swing a bat, where I learned to appreciate the creek of an old wooden porch (the Ardonia Inn) where I went to my first anti war protest at the tender age of 7! Ardonia, where I learned to sit silent, where I got bit by a bee on my tounge, where I learned to put a worm on a hook, where I learned how to row a boat (Twin Lakes, remember brothers?), where I learned to braid my own hair, where I developed my love for the outdoors and my appreciation for nature, where I learned that the best sleep I ever get in my life is in a hammock with lots of OFF!, where I developed my love of all things animals, (thanks to the Catskill Game Farm) and the list actually goes on but I’m thinking you get the picture right about now.
And so, for my master plan: I can't possibly teach you all these things in Queens, nor can you ever experience them in the city and just as my parents set up base camp in Ardonia, I'll be setting up a base camp too. I'll take you to all the amazing places my parents took me: the Adironacks, the Catskills Mountains, Saranac Lake, Lake George, Howe Caverns, and in these places you'll run, climb, fish (catch and release), ride a bike, swim, jump in a lake (my favorite pastime, lol) watch the sunset, roast marshmallows, pitch a tent in the backyard where you'll fall asleep immediately because you're so exhausted from the days' activities....
It's my master plan. It's something else I'm working towards, something else I will make happen. Stay tuned bebes -- and again, before you go to sleep, ask God to keep us safe until we're together and after, and ask Him to give me the smarts to execute my master plan because without Him, I can't do it.
Muito Muito Amor,
Mommy
Below are some sentences from my favorite of all time songs -- songs that I remember from my early childhood, with my hair grown past my butt and my peace signs all over the place, from most of my t-shirts and pants to the walls of my bedroom to my little hands -- Yep, my friends might say -- that's her...lol.
We are star dust, we are golden...
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams...
Give me spots on my apples...but leave me the birds and the bees...please
Everything will bring a chain of love...
I like to dream yes, yes, right between my sound machine...
When I come home from a hard day's work and you're waiting there, not a care in the world...
and finally (this brings us into the new millenium, btw)
I feel there is nothing I can't do, yeah
I titled this entry, Life is for Learning, because 1) it comes from one of my fav songs, Woodstock by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and 2) because I've been learning a lot lately. First, I'll be with the DOE for another 2 years and have no angst inside of me whatsoever as I have had in the past. After trying to 'run away from home' my whole entire life, and succeeding for a time (a few times actually, lol) I've come to realize that the universe has been conspiring, with the help God of course, to get me to stay in Queens and for the first time since 2000 I'm ok with it. Really ok.
I spoke earlier about my childhood because I had such a great one. My parents gave us some great adventures that's for sure -- and all of them took place upstate. Ardonia, where I learned to swim, to ride a bike, to do cartwheels, to climb trees, to bake apple pies, where I twisted my ankle for the first time, where I learned to swing a bat, where I learned to appreciate the creek of an old wooden porch (the Ardonia Inn) where I went to my first anti war protest at the tender age of 7! Ardonia, where I learned to sit silent, where I got bit by a bee on my tounge, where I learned to put a worm on a hook, where I learned how to row a boat (Twin Lakes, remember brothers?), where I learned to braid my own hair, where I developed my love for the outdoors and my appreciation for nature, where I learned that the best sleep I ever get in my life is in a hammock with lots of OFF!, where I developed my love of all things animals, (thanks to the Catskill Game Farm) and the list actually goes on but I’m thinking you get the picture right about now.
And so, for my master plan: I can't possibly teach you all these things in Queens, nor can you ever experience them in the city and just as my parents set up base camp in Ardonia, I'll be setting up a base camp too. I'll take you to all the amazing places my parents took me: the Adironacks, the Catskills Mountains, Saranac Lake, Lake George, Howe Caverns, and in these places you'll run, climb, fish (catch and release), ride a bike, swim, jump in a lake (my favorite pastime, lol) watch the sunset, roast marshmallows, pitch a tent in the backyard where you'll fall asleep immediately because you're so exhausted from the days' activities....
It's my master plan. It's something else I'm working towards, something else I will make happen. Stay tuned bebes -- and again, before you go to sleep, ask God to keep us safe until we're together and after, and ask Him to give me the smarts to execute my master plan because without Him, I can't do it.
Muito Muito Amor,
Mommy
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Whatever is Special in This Life You Have to Fight For
Oi Bebes,
I found out some news today and I cried a little bit. You know those hot tears that roll out of your eyes really slow and burn your cheeks. And then I thought of my last post and the things I wrote.
I'm in God's waiting room and I think I might have to get comfortable for a time. I was informed today that the Brasilian government has changed some requirements around for the dossier and I have to get a few extra documents as well as get some already completed documents done over. And still no word on gramps' prints. Yesterday that was my biggest set back, today it's a whole other story. A lot of the fees went way up as well (some from $500 to $3,000!). I know somehow God's got our back and I'm sure he will provide whatever we need.
I'm putting this evening aside to be sad and tomorrow morning I will have a plan in place. The gloves are off and the fight is on. After all a family is what you make of it and whatever is special in this life you have to fight for, just like I wrote yesterday. I heard those words for a reason and this is the reason why I remembered them, why they stuck out in my head all day. We're also in God's waiting room for a reason... I have to believe and I do believe he's got a way better plan for us. I trust Him.
Please bebes, keep your fingers crossed, and before you go to bed pray that God connects us and keeps us healthy while we're waiting. Ask Him to make me smart enough to realize and execute a good plan, financial and otherwise because NOTHING will stop me, NOTHING will hold me back from you.
Bebes - Amo-o muito, você não é único no meu coração mas em minha alma também. Prometo que logo estará nos meus braços, nenhuma questão o que toma eu ele farei acontece para nós. Não preocupe-se crianças, deixa o preocupar até mim, e até eu o darei a Deus e Ele cuidará de nós.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
I found out some news today and I cried a little bit. You know those hot tears that roll out of your eyes really slow and burn your cheeks. And then I thought of my last post and the things I wrote.
I'm in God's waiting room and I think I might have to get comfortable for a time. I was informed today that the Brasilian government has changed some requirements around for the dossier and I have to get a few extra documents as well as get some already completed documents done over. And still no word on gramps' prints. Yesterday that was my biggest set back, today it's a whole other story. A lot of the fees went way up as well (some from $500 to $3,000!). I know somehow God's got our back and I'm sure he will provide whatever we need.
I'm putting this evening aside to be sad and tomorrow morning I will have a plan in place. The gloves are off and the fight is on. After all a family is what you make of it and whatever is special in this life you have to fight for, just like I wrote yesterday. I heard those words for a reason and this is the reason why I remembered them, why they stuck out in my head all day. We're also in God's waiting room for a reason... I have to believe and I do believe he's got a way better plan for us. I trust Him.
Please bebes, keep your fingers crossed, and before you go to bed pray that God connects us and keeps us healthy while we're waiting. Ask Him to make me smart enough to realize and execute a good plan, financial and otherwise because NOTHING will stop me, NOTHING will hold me back from you.
Bebes - Amo-o muito, você não é único no meu coração mas em minha alma também. Prometo que logo estará nos meus braços, nenhuma questão o que toma eu ele farei acontece para nós. Não preocupe-se crianças, deixa o preocupar até mim, e até eu o darei a Deus e Ele cuidará de nós.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Monday, June 23, 2008
Two Things I Heard Today and Something I Read
Oi Bebes,
I'm still waiting and have heard nothing from the FBI as to Grandpa's prints. As always I remain positive because I know it's just a matter of time. God's time. This morning I read an article that spoke about God's waiting room. It was titled, "Risks in Faith: When God Delays." As you know I come from the "everything happens for a reason" school and so (especially of late) I trust in God's timing. There's so many things going on right now in my life, some good and some not so good, but I definitely see a change in direction, a positive change -- a change that God has got his hands all over. As I'm sure you know change can also be very sad but if we trust that God is doing what is right for us we will be comforted, the sadness will come to pass and there will be a bright light at the end of the tunnel. That bright light for me is you.
I have a vision in my head of me cooking you dinner, the tv is blasting, toys are all over the place, homework isn't done yet, I'm exhausted and there's still 3 hours before bedtime. I glance up from the stove and there you both are. That is what I think of when I think of the light at the end of the tunnel. Watching you smile, learning to trust each other, holding hands, playing together, falling asleep while I while read to you at the end of the night, laughing together, exploring together, learning from each other. The list goes on and on but that's my light at the end of the tunnel, having you both in my life because you are my dream.
And so while I'm in God's waiting room ... after a long and very difficult winter, I'm finally enjoying the every day. I'm beginning to laugh again, and I catch myself smiling a lot more often than before. I know Grandma Rosie is looking down on me thinking "Finally! My daughter is back!" Grandma used to say that when I entered a room, I lit it up. Imagine when she sees us together!
OK so I'll leave you both with this: John 13:7, when Jesus said: “You do not realize now what I'm doing but later you will understand” (NIV). I'm sure that we will look back at this period of adoption stagnation and know one day why we had to wait. Remember that God's got a plan for us. A way way way better plan than we could ever hatch ourselves, that's for sure. Remember too that His timing is perfect.
As always before you go to sleep at night, ask God to connect us and to watch over us.
Muito Muito Amor
Mommy
OHH I forgot the two things I heard today!
Whatever is special in this life you have to fight for. Whatever it takes crianças, I will do whatever it takes...
and
A family is what you make of it. That's sooo on the money! I've been saying it all along.
xxxMommy
I'm still waiting and have heard nothing from the FBI as to Grandpa's prints. As always I remain positive because I know it's just a matter of time. God's time. This morning I read an article that spoke about God's waiting room. It was titled, "Risks in Faith: When God Delays." As you know I come from the "everything happens for a reason" school and so (especially of late) I trust in God's timing. There's so many things going on right now in my life, some good and some not so good, but I definitely see a change in direction, a positive change -- a change that God has got his hands all over. As I'm sure you know change can also be very sad but if we trust that God is doing what is right for us we will be comforted, the sadness will come to pass and there will be a bright light at the end of the tunnel. That bright light for me is you.
I have a vision in my head of me cooking you dinner, the tv is blasting, toys are all over the place, homework isn't done yet, I'm exhausted and there's still 3 hours before bedtime. I glance up from the stove and there you both are. That is what I think of when I think of the light at the end of the tunnel. Watching you smile, learning to trust each other, holding hands, playing together, falling asleep while I while read to you at the end of the night, laughing together, exploring together, learning from each other. The list goes on and on but that's my light at the end of the tunnel, having you both in my life because you are my dream.
And so while I'm in God's waiting room ... after a long and very difficult winter, I'm finally enjoying the every day. I'm beginning to laugh again, and I catch myself smiling a lot more often than before. I know Grandma Rosie is looking down on me thinking "Finally! My daughter is back!" Grandma used to say that when I entered a room, I lit it up. Imagine when she sees us together!
OK so I'll leave you both with this: John 13:7, when Jesus said: “You do not realize now what I'm doing but later you will understand” (NIV). I'm sure that we will look back at this period of adoption stagnation and know one day why we had to wait. Remember that God's got a plan for us. A way way way better plan than we could ever hatch ourselves, that's for sure. Remember too that His timing is perfect.
As always before you go to sleep at night, ask God to connect us and to watch over us.
Muito Muito Amor
Mommy
OHH I forgot the two things I heard today!
Whatever is special in this life you have to fight for. Whatever it takes crianças, I will do whatever it takes...
and
A family is what you make of it. That's sooo on the money! I've been saying it all along.
xxxMommy
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Pais do Coração/Parents of the Heart
Oi Bebes!
Today the quarterly newspaper on the state of adoption in Brazil came out and we're in it! It's kind of wierd to see my name with Portugese all around it but I suppose I should get used to it :)
****I included the whole article for those of you who are interested or able to read it... for those of you who can't read it scroll down to the bold lettering, which is where my quote starts. I can't tell you how excited I am about this! It's sooo cooolllll!
Tatiane, 11 anos, tem medo do escuro. Seu irmão, Rogério,
9 anos, dorme com a mãe, e às vezes acorda no meio da noite para certificar-se de que ela está lá. Mamãe Lisa, como os dois chamavam-na até pouco, é uma enfermeira da capital dos Estados
Unidos que, mesmo solteira, conseguiu adotar, há um ano, os dois irmãos do interior de São Paulo. Além deles, moram com ela Johanna, 5 anos, da Guatemala,
e dois filhos biológicos, já adultos.
Tati e Rogério são duas das 55 crianças brasileiras que receberam visto do governo norte-americano em 2007 para serem adotados lá, de acordo com o Departamento de Estado. Não é um número grande; só em 2005, os americanos adotaram
7906 crianças chinesas. No Brasil, as crianças só podem ser adotadas por famílias estrangeiras
depois de esgotadas todas as possibilidades no país. Além disso, os EUA, por não fazerem parte do grupo de países signatários
de uma convenção que organiza as adoções internacionais,
não são priorizados.
Lisa Foster iniciou o processo
de adoção de Johanna sozinha,
mas logo após retornar aos EUA, precisou da ajuda de um advogado. “Descobrimos
que as pessoas que facilitavam o processo e a família biológica de Johanna não eram éticas. Tentavam impedir as adoções de acontecerem”,
conta. Quatro anos depois, o mesmo advogado
ajudou
Lisa a adotar brasileiros.
A primeira parte de um processo de adoção internacional
envolve o dossiê do adotando,
entregue ao consulado brasileiro.
Ao mesmo tempo, deve haver a aprovação do Departamento
de Imigração Americano para que ela tenha visto e possa morar nos EUA.
Aprovado o dossiê, o advogado
faz a indicação de crianças
disponíveis e inicia-se um período de adaptação, em que a família deve vir para o Brasil e passar no mínimo 45 dias em companhia do futuro filho. Depois
da adoção aprovada pelo juiz, a criança recebe nova certidão
de nascimento,
de passaporte
e visto, para chegar aos EUA como cidadã
americana.
O Brasil é muito visado para adoção, pois não considera
o estado civil
do adotando. Além disso, nos Estados Unidos, é comum as famílias biológicas
entrarem na justiça. “Nosso governo é muito LENTO para remover as crianças maltratadas de sua casa e muito RÁPIDO para devolvê-las aos seus pais”, conta Patrícia Safina, 40 anos, uma professora com origem italiana de Nova York que espera aprovação de seus documentos para receber crianças brasileiras.
Mas é claro, problemas existem. Lisa, por exemplo, conta que a maior dificuldade de seus filhos do coração foi aprender
inglês. Hoje, na família Foster,todos estudam as culturas e línguas de seus países, e até decoram a casa para festas típicas. Johanna ainda tem contato com a mãe biológica; os brasileiros planejam rever a cidade onde nasceram. Patrícia também imagina como será a vida dos futuros filhos: “Eles vão falar português,
meu pai vai falar italiano e nós seremos uma família grande, feliz e
misturada!”
OK, for my non Portuguese speaking readers.... Marina Dantas, the journalist first described me as a 40 year old woman of Italian descent who lives in NYC and works in education. The journalist first quoted my answer to her question: Why are you not adopting from the United States to which I answered that "It is sad but my government is very slow to remove abused and neglected children from their homes and very quick to put them back with their abusers, i.e. parents.
The second quote goes on to answer the question of how we will communicate to which I said "I imagine that my children will speak to me in Portugese to which I will respond in Italian and we'll be one big happy mixed up family!" That's how she ended the article which btw is entitled Pais do Coração which means Parents of the Heart.
In other news: I have heard nothing from the FBI regarding grandpa's prints. I'm praying that no news is good news. Speaking of praying -- don't forget to ask God to connect us and to keep us strong and healthy during our wait -- and ask God too, to watch over us so that we may realize right from wrong and understand when His hand is guiding us where we need to be.
I love you both very much and soon, very soon we will be together. In the meantime I'm working very hard here in NYC to make your lives as easy as possible when you arrive.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Today the quarterly newspaper on the state of adoption in Brazil came out and we're in it! It's kind of wierd to see my name with Portugese all around it but I suppose I should get used to it :)
****I included the whole article for those of you who are interested or able to read it... for those of you who can't read it scroll down to the bold lettering, which is where my quote starts. I can't tell you how excited I am about this! It's sooo cooolllll!
Tatiane, 11 anos, tem medo do escuro. Seu irmão, Rogério,
9 anos, dorme com a mãe, e às vezes acorda no meio da noite para certificar-se de que ela está lá. Mamãe Lisa, como os dois chamavam-na até pouco, é uma enfermeira da capital dos Estados
Unidos que, mesmo solteira, conseguiu adotar, há um ano, os dois irmãos do interior de São Paulo. Além deles, moram com ela Johanna, 5 anos, da Guatemala,
e dois filhos biológicos, já adultos.
Tati e Rogério são duas das 55 crianças brasileiras que receberam visto do governo norte-americano em 2007 para serem adotados lá, de acordo com o Departamento de Estado. Não é um número grande; só em 2005, os americanos adotaram
7906 crianças chinesas. No Brasil, as crianças só podem ser adotadas por famílias estrangeiras
depois de esgotadas todas as possibilidades no país. Além disso, os EUA, por não fazerem parte do grupo de países signatários
de uma convenção que organiza as adoções internacionais,
não são priorizados.
Lisa Foster iniciou o processo
de adoção de Johanna sozinha,
mas logo após retornar aos EUA, precisou da ajuda de um advogado. “Descobrimos
que as pessoas que facilitavam o processo e a família biológica de Johanna não eram éticas. Tentavam impedir as adoções de acontecerem”,
conta. Quatro anos depois, o mesmo advogado
ajudou
Lisa a adotar brasileiros.
A primeira parte de um processo de adoção internacional
envolve o dossiê do adotando,
entregue ao consulado brasileiro.
Ao mesmo tempo, deve haver a aprovação do Departamento
de Imigração Americano para que ela tenha visto e possa morar nos EUA.
Aprovado o dossiê, o advogado
faz a indicação de crianças
disponíveis e inicia-se um período de adaptação, em que a família deve vir para o Brasil e passar no mínimo 45 dias em companhia do futuro filho. Depois
da adoção aprovada pelo juiz, a criança recebe nova certidão
de nascimento,
de passaporte
e visto, para chegar aos EUA como cidadã
americana.
O Brasil é muito visado para adoção, pois não considera
o estado civil
do adotando. Além disso, nos Estados Unidos, é comum as famílias biológicas
entrarem na justiça. “Nosso governo é muito LENTO para remover as crianças maltratadas de sua casa e muito RÁPIDO para devolvê-las aos seus pais”, conta Patrícia Safina, 40 anos, uma professora com origem italiana de Nova York que espera aprovação de seus documentos para receber crianças brasileiras.
Mas é claro, problemas existem. Lisa, por exemplo, conta que a maior dificuldade de seus filhos do coração foi aprender
inglês. Hoje, na família Foster,todos estudam as culturas e línguas de seus países, e até decoram a casa para festas típicas. Johanna ainda tem contato com a mãe biológica; os brasileiros planejam rever a cidade onde nasceram. Patrícia também imagina como será a vida dos futuros filhos: “Eles vão falar português,
meu pai vai falar italiano e nós seremos uma família grande, feliz e
misturada!”
OK, for my non Portuguese speaking readers.... Marina Dantas, the journalist first described me as a 40 year old woman of Italian descent who lives in NYC and works in education. The journalist first quoted my answer to her question: Why are you not adopting from the United States to which I answered that "It is sad but my government is very slow to remove abused and neglected children from their homes and very quick to put them back with their abusers, i.e. parents.
The second quote goes on to answer the question of how we will communicate to which I said "I imagine that my children will speak to me in Portugese to which I will respond in Italian and we'll be one big happy mixed up family!" That's how she ended the article which btw is entitled Pais do Coração which means Parents of the Heart.
In other news: I have heard nothing from the FBI regarding grandpa's prints. I'm praying that no news is good news. Speaking of praying -- don't forget to ask God to connect us and to keep us strong and healthy during our wait -- and ask God too, to watch over us so that we may realize right from wrong and understand when His hand is guiding us where we need to be.
I love you both very much and soon, very soon we will be together. In the meantime I'm working very hard here in NYC to make your lives as easy as possible when you arrive.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Monday, May 26, 2008
Fingerprint Trip with Gramps
Oi Bebes,
I went with grandpa a couple of days ago to get his fingerprints done again. I pray this time it works out good. The woman who took the prints knew they were for adoption and I explained to her that now I'd be behind a bit in bringing you guys home and she then stamped the card "Best Possible Prints". I was also short 1$ and she let me slide. Once again, I'm blessed by the kindness of strangers. It was funny she was even calling grandpa DAD and he was laughing. We had a good time on the M train. He reminisced a lot. He's going to be 81 in August so things around here have changed A LOT since he was a kid! He's such a great guy and I can't wait for you to meet him. You're going to love him! I'm sure of it, all his grandkids do!
In some sad news the earthquake in China is said to have left 4,000 children without parents and some thousands of parents without children. Let's pray that these adults and children find each other through adoption. Also,there are two panda's unaccounted for in Sichuan Province. I'm keeping my hopes high that they are just hanging out somewhere in another place, eating grass and laying in the shade.
Ok--don't forget to ask God to connect us, to bring us together fast so that we could be a family who walks in His love forever!
Muito Amor,
Mommy
I went with grandpa a couple of days ago to get his fingerprints done again. I pray this time it works out good. The woman who took the prints knew they were for adoption and I explained to her that now I'd be behind a bit in bringing you guys home and she then stamped the card "Best Possible Prints". I was also short 1$ and she let me slide. Once again, I'm blessed by the kindness of strangers. It was funny she was even calling grandpa DAD and he was laughing. We had a good time on the M train. He reminisced a lot. He's going to be 81 in August so things around here have changed A LOT since he was a kid! He's such a great guy and I can't wait for you to meet him. You're going to love him! I'm sure of it, all his grandkids do!
In some sad news the earthquake in China is said to have left 4,000 children without parents and some thousands of parents without children. Let's pray that these adults and children find each other through adoption. Also,there are two panda's unaccounted for in Sichuan Province. I'm keeping my hopes high that they are just hanging out somewhere in another place, eating grass and laying in the shade.
Ok--don't forget to ask God to connect us, to bring us together fast so that we could be a family who walks in His love forever!
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Orphanages in Sichuan Province
Oi Bebes,
I found out today that only a handful of the 45 orphanages in Sichuan Province have yet to be heard from. It is assumed that they are OK! There have been no reported deaths, only minor injuries. There has been structual damage to their buildings, and some of the kids are sleeping in tents outstide and when it rains they go into the buses that transport them to school. BUT they are OK and that is the most important thing! God heard our prayers in a big way! But, don't forget to continue to keep them in your prayers!
xxx(kiss kiss kiss)
Muito Amor,
Mommy
I found out today that only a handful of the 45 orphanages in Sichuan Province have yet to be heard from. It is assumed that they are OK! There have been no reported deaths, only minor injuries. There has been structual damage to their buildings, and some of the kids are sleeping in tents outstide and when it rains they go into the buses that transport them to school. BUT they are OK and that is the most important thing! God heard our prayers in a big way! But, don't forget to continue to keep them in your prayers!
xxx(kiss kiss kiss)
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Minor Setback :(
Oi Bebes,
I just received a call from Sandi, our social worker and my fingerprints came back. Seems that they were good enough for the State of New York, but the are not good enough for someone at our lovely Federal Bureau of Investigation. It will now take an additional 6 weeks processing time to get those prints back to our agency. I think we might be on hold now until mid July. I want to cry but I won't because I'm the mommy, and mommy's do not cry. On the bright side no one is hurt, God is taking care of you, and everything happens for a reason. I have faith that this is a minor glitch and it's just God's way of giving Himself a little extra time to prepare me for you.
Hang in there and know that I think about you all the time. When we're finally together things will be great, I promise!
Amo-o ambos muito.
Keep on saying prayers for our friends in China and for the pandas! Remember to ask God to guide us together and connect us.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
I just received a call from Sandi, our social worker and my fingerprints came back. Seems that they were good enough for the State of New York, but the are not good enough for someone at our lovely Federal Bureau of Investigation. It will now take an additional 6 weeks processing time to get those prints back to our agency. I think we might be on hold now until mid July. I want to cry but I won't because I'm the mommy, and mommy's do not cry. On the bright side no one is hurt, God is taking care of you, and everything happens for a reason. I have faith that this is a minor glitch and it's just God's way of giving Himself a little extra time to prepare me for you.
Hang in there and know that I think about you all the time. When we're finally together things will be great, I promise!
Amo-o ambos muito.
Keep on saying prayers for our friends in China and for the pandas! Remember to ask God to guide us together and connect us.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Monday, May 12, 2008
China, Sichuan Province
Oi Bebes,
Let's pray for our new friends who waited very long to receive their referrals, some who are already there, some who were to leave shortly and some who left last night. Let's ask God to keep them and their children and all the children in the orphanages of Sichuan province (and in orphanages all over the world) safe from harm. Let's send out some prayers for families who may be seperated at this time that they are reunited quickly and safely.
ONE OTHER THING
Please also pray for our endangered Giant Panda's. Sichuan province is home to 1,200wild Giant Panda's -- they live in a reserve called Woolong National Park and usually we are able to see them at rest and at play by using their webcam but unfortunately after the earthquake this morning it stopped. In case you've never seen a Giant Panda, I'll show you -- Maybe one day we'll be able to go to Woolong National Park but certainly, I'll take you both to our National Zoo in Washington DC, they are there too! It's one of few zoo's that I do not have a problem with!
Muito Amor,
Mommy
Let's pray for our new friends who waited very long to receive their referrals, some who are already there, some who were to leave shortly and some who left last night. Let's ask God to keep them and their children and all the children in the orphanages of Sichuan province (and in orphanages all over the world) safe from harm. Let's send out some prayers for families who may be seperated at this time that they are reunited quickly and safely.
ONE OTHER THING
Please also pray for our endangered Giant Panda's. Sichuan province is home to 1,200wild Giant Panda's -- they live in a reserve called Woolong National Park and usually we are able to see them at rest and at play by using their webcam but unfortunately after the earthquake this morning it stopped. In case you've never seen a Giant Panda, I'll show you -- Maybe one day we'll be able to go to Woolong National Park but certainly, I'll take you both to our National Zoo in Washington DC, they are there too! It's one of few zoo's that I do not have a problem with!
Muito Amor,
Mommy
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