Childhood Dreams...

Oi Bebes,

I know that our childhood dreams will be much different and I feel a bit selfish telling you about mine, but I will because while some were from very early on, most were born when I was your age. And so here they are:

To be free: when I was a kid I thought that to be free meant to run all over and not just inside the gate or down the road. Now I know it to be different. Freedom is a mindset. Sometimes though, one feels freer in different places.

To travel all over the world: Ever since I could remember I've always had a very strong wanderlust. All my life I've almost always wanted to be somewhere else. As an adult I don't regret it for one second. My wanderlust made me who I am and it's not over yet. These days though, I've realized that I don't have to go too far to feel it.

To help people: I don't know how to explain this one. I think it's something that you're born with. I can't remember a time when I didn't help someone in need. That goes for animals too. Now I'm lucky enough to have a career, which marries my love of education and my childhood dream to help people. I suppose life could be worse.

To adopt: yes, I have wanted to adopt since I was very, very young. Since the minute my mother explained the concept of adoption, I knew I would do it when I grew up. I've realized that my desire to adopt has freed me from the weight that most women carry on their shoulders... the biological clock. I never heard the tic tock tic tock of that clock. Not having a biological clock has allowed me to do so many things I wouldn't have done had I married early to start a family. I have enjoyed my life immensely thus far. I look forward to now enjoying it in a different way.

To write a novel: One night some years back I was sitting on the beach with a friend and we had a nice little fire going. I was reading him bits and pieces of Verso when I realized that it was a thinly veiled novel of some fantasy that I was holding on to for years. I hated that writing the book had become a monkey on my back and like all the monkey's I've had on back in the past, I shook it off. Into the fire. Years of typed pages and hand written notes burned. It was one the most liberating things I've ever done. A couple of years ago I found an old clipboard in the garage. On the clip-board was the first chapter. I cried. Not because it was gone but because of the awesome memories I have of that fantasy -- and then I realized, it wasn't really a fantasy after-all. Now I write for different reasons. When I was a kid I guess I thought that writers only wrote novels. I was wrong. Fact remains though, that I do write, just not fiction. Well, not yet anyway.

And there you have it. I'm living out my childhood dreams. And it's all connected. I've got the freedom to travel to get my kids and to write about it in my blog. Life is really good and it's all because of you, my yet unknown children.

Muito Muito Muito Amor e Beijas
Mommy