Home Study -- Draft!

Oi Bebes,
I received a draft of my home study which I am going through now. I have to supply two more documents which should be done by tomorrow and they it will be stamped FINAL! Final and OFFICIAL -- I could then begin the grant writing process and hopefully someone will fork over some cash! Here's some bits and pieces of our home study, some friends have been interested as to what it says and what kind of report it actually is... I was surprised at the simplicity of it when I read it!

MOTIVATION FOR ADOPTION

Ms. Safina shares that when she was six years old, her mother explained what adoption was. Since then, the idea of adoption intrigued her and she grew up feeling that she would grow her family through adoption. Ms. Safina states that at this point in her life she is in a secure financial situation and is able to financially handle having a family. She feels that she is also comfortable with herself and confident that this is the right time for her to be a mother.


APPLICANT FAMILY BACKGROUND

Patricia Safina was born in Queens, New York on December 16, 1967. She has two older brothers. Ms. Safina has good memories of her childhood. “When I was about eight years old my family moved to Glendale. We lived in a two family house with my grandparents living downstairs. Because my brothers were much older, I grew up feeling almost like an only child. I recall having great friends in the neighborhood and enjoyed playing with my friends.” Ms. Safina remembers that her family owned a house in upstate New York, where they would spend summers. She states that she has very fond memories of those summers as that is where she learned a lot of things such as swimming, gardening, sports, etc. Ms. Safina says that she enjoyed school and graduated from Forest Hills High School in 1985. She attended Queensborough Community College from 1990 to 1992 and earned her Associates. At the age of twenty-two Ms. Safina decided to attend school full time and earned her Bachelors Degree from Queens College in 1994. She traveled to Florence, Italy and stayed there for five years returning to New York in 1999. She worked together with her bothers for a few years and went back to school in 2005 attending the School of Public Affairs at Baruch College, earning a Masters of Science in Education in 2007. Ms. Safina shares that all during her education her parents were very supportive and helpful.

Ms. Safina’s mother, Rose Tilotta Safina died in November 2007. Ms. Safina shares that she still misses her mother. “My mother and I had a great relationship. We were together all the time. She was an amazing woman, she was always there for anything and everything I needed. She taught me everything she knew and encouraged and supported me in all I did. She was unconditionally dedicated to her family.” Ms. Safina has two brothers. The oldest Andrew Safina is fifty years old. He lives in California. He has three children, Julian age nineteen, Christian age sixteen and Austin age thirteen. “Andrew is a lot like me, he is a lot of fun. He is easy going and loves kids very much.” Her second brother is Rosario Safina who is forty-seven years old. He lives with his wife, Linda and their twelve year old son, Paolo in New York City. “Rosario tends to be very protective. I know he is there if I need him.” Ms. Safina shares that she has a close relationship with her brothers. She states that they are both glad for her and support her decision to adopt.

SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS

Ms. Safina is single and has never been married. She shares that she has had some very good relationships but none was the right one. “My parents were married for fifty-four years and had a great relationship, that is what I want for myself. I am at a point in my life where I am not willing to settle for less than what feels right for my life. I still date, but I am more choosy. I am very confident and sure of myself, that I can accomplish what I want as a single woman.” She says that when she lived in Florence and was 29 years old she was engaged, but she wanted to move back to New York and he did not want to leave Florence. She eventually moved back to New York two years later and the romantic part of the relationship ended, but they remained friends. Ms. Safina states that she is not in a relationship right now, nor is she actively looking for a husband. She says that, “ I am very comfortable living as a single woman. I have many friends through work and in the neighborhood and am happy with the way things are.” She states that if a relationship developed , the man would have to accept and love her children.

RELIGION

Ms. Safina is Catholic. She states that she belongs to her local parish, and attends occasionally. “I am a spiritual woman, and I believe in being a good person and treating others as I would like to be treated. I was raised Catholic and feel that it is important for children to believe in God and to learn values and faith. I plan to encourage them to continue their religious training.”

End

***and I'll leave it at that for now -- SO for any of my friends who were wondering what was written in a home study, there it is -- how I worried about this process, and it's here and gone! God's got my back!

OK bebes,
I have to go now, remember to ask God to connect us and protect us while we wait for each other. I'm doing whatever I can to make this process go a little faster and I promise you, in the end it will all be worth it! God is making very special things happen now, I know it, I could FEEL IT.

xxxMuito Muito AMOR
Mommy

Life is for Learning...

Oi Bebes,

Below are some sentences from my favorite of all time songs -- songs that I remember from my early childhood, with my hair grown past my butt and my peace signs all over the place, from most of my t-shirts and pants to the walls of my bedroom to my little hands -- Yep, my friends might say -- that's her...lol.

We are star dust, we are golden...
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams...
Give me spots on my apples...but leave me the birds and the bees...please
Everything will bring a chain of love...
I like to dream yes, yes, right between my sound machine...
When I come home from a hard day's work and you're waiting there, not a care in the world...

and finally (this brings us into the new millenium, btw)

I feel there is nothing I can't do, yeah

I titled this entry, Life is for Learning, because 1) it comes from one of my fav songs, Woodstock by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and 2) because I've been learning a lot lately. First, I'll be with the DOE for another 2 years and have no angst inside of me whatsoever as I have had in the past. After trying to 'run away from home' my whole entire life, and succeeding for a time (a few times actually, lol) I've come to realize that the universe has been conspiring, with the help God of course, to get me to stay in Queens and for the first time since 2000 I'm ok with it. Really ok.

I spoke earlier about my childhood because I had such a great one. My parents gave us some great adventures that's for sure -- and all of them took place upstate. Ardonia, where I learned to swim, to ride a bike, to do cartwheels, to climb trees, to bake apple pies, where I twisted my ankle for the first time, where I learned to swing a bat, where I learned to appreciate the creek of an old wooden porch (the Ardonia Inn) where I went to my first anti war protest at the tender age of 7! Ardonia, where I learned to sit silent, where I got bit by a bee on my tounge, where I learned to put a worm on a hook, where I learned how to row a boat (Twin Lakes, remember brothers?), where I learned to braid my own hair, where I developed my love for the outdoors and my appreciation for nature, where I learned that the best sleep I ever get in my life is in a hammock with lots of OFF!, where I developed my love of all things animals, (thanks to the Catskill Game Farm) and the list actually goes on but I’m thinking you get the picture right about now.

And so, for my master plan: I can't possibly teach you all these things in Queens, nor can you ever experience them in the city and just as my parents set up base camp in Ardonia, I'll be setting up a base camp too. I'll take you to all the amazing places my parents took me: the Adironacks, the Catskills Mountains, Saranac Lake, Lake George, Howe Caverns, and in these places you'll run, climb, fish (catch and release), ride a bike, swim, jump in a lake (my favorite pastime, lol) watch the sunset, roast marshmallows, pitch a tent in the backyard where you'll fall asleep immediately because you're so exhausted from the days' activities....

It's my master plan. It's something else I'm working towards, something else I will make happen. Stay tuned bebes -- and again, before you go to sleep, ask God to keep us safe until we're together and after, and ask Him to give me the smarts to execute my master plan because without Him, I can't do it.

Muito Muito Amor,
Mommy

Whatever is Special in This Life You Have to Fight For

Oi Bebes,

I found out some news today and I cried a little bit. You know those hot tears that roll out of your eyes really slow and burn your cheeks. And then I thought of my last post and the things I wrote.

I'm in God's waiting room and I think I might have to get comfortable for a time. I was informed today that the Brasilian government has changed some requirements around for the dossier and I have to get a few extra documents as well as get some already completed documents done over. And still no word on gramps' prints. Yesterday that was my biggest set back, today it's a whole other story. A lot of the fees went way up as well (some from $500 to $3,000!). I know somehow God's got our back and I'm sure he will provide whatever we need.

I'm putting this evening aside to be sad and tomorrow morning I will have a plan in place. The gloves are off and the fight is on. After all a family is what you make of it and whatever is special in this life you have to fight for, just like I wrote yesterday. I heard those words for a reason and this is the reason why I remembered them, why they stuck out in my head all day. We're also in God's waiting room for a reason... I have to believe and I do believe he's got a way better plan for us. I trust Him.

Please bebes, keep your fingers crossed, and before you go to bed pray that God connects us and keeps us healthy while we're waiting. Ask Him to make me smart enough to realize and execute a good plan, financial and otherwise because NOTHING will stop me, NOTHING will hold me back from you.

Bebes - Amo-o muito, você não é único no meu coração mas em minha alma também. Prometo que logo estará nos meus braços, nenhuma questão o que toma eu ele farei acontece para nós. Não preocupe-se crianças, deixa o preocupar até mim, e até eu o darei a Deus e Ele cuidará de nós.

Muito Amor,
Mommy

Two Things I Heard Today and Something I Read

Oi Bebes,

I'm still waiting and have heard nothing from the FBI as to Grandpa's prints. As always I remain positive because I know it's just a matter of time. God's time. This morning I read an article that spoke about God's waiting room. It was titled, "Risks in Faith: When God Delays." As you know I come from the "everything happens for a reason" school and so (especially of late) I trust in God's timing. There's so many things going on right now in my life, some good and some not so good, but I definitely see a change in direction, a positive change -- a change that God has got his hands all over. As I'm sure you know change can also be very sad but if we trust that God is doing what is right for us we will be comforted, the sadness will come to pass and there will be a bright light at the end of the tunnel. That bright light for me is you.

I have a vision in my head of me cooking you dinner, the tv is blasting, toys are all over the place, homework isn't done yet, I'm exhausted and there's still 3 hours before bedtime. I glance up from the stove and there you both are. That is what I think of when I think of the light at the end of the tunnel. Watching you smile, learning to trust each other, holding hands, playing together, falling asleep while I while read to you at the end of the night, laughing together, exploring together, learning from each other. The list goes on and on but that's my light at the end of the tunnel, having you both in my life because you are my dream.

And so while I'm in God's waiting room ... after a long and very difficult winter, I'm finally enjoying the every day. I'm beginning to laugh again, and I catch myself smiling a lot more often than before. I know Grandma Rosie is looking down on me thinking "Finally! My daughter is back!" Grandma used to say that when I entered a room, I lit it up. Imagine when she sees us together!

OK so I'll leave you both with this: John 13:7, when Jesus said: “You do not realize now what I'm doing but later you will understand” (NIV). I'm sure that we will look back at this period of adoption stagnation and know one day why we had to wait. Remember that God's got a plan for us. A way way way better plan than we could ever hatch ourselves, that's for sure. Remember too that His timing is perfect.

As always before you go to sleep at night, ask God to connect us and to watch over us.

Muito Muito Amor
Mommy

OHH I forgot the two things I heard today!

Whatever is special in this life you have to fight for. Whatever it takes crianças, I will do whatever it takes...

and

A family is what you make of it. That's sooo on the money! I've been saying it all along.

xxxMommy

Pais do Coração/Parents of the Heart

Oi Bebes!
Today the quarterly newspaper on the state of adoption in Brazil came out and we're in it! It's kind of wierd to see my name with Portugese all around it but I suppose I should get used to it :)

****I included the whole article for those of you who are interested or able to read it... for those of you who can't read it scroll down to the bold lettering, which is where my quote starts. I can't tell you how excited I am about this! It's sooo cooolllll!

Tatiane, 11 anos, tem medo do escuro. Seu irmão, Rogério,
9 anos, dorme com a mãe, e às vezes acorda no meio da noite para certificar-se de que ela está lá. Mamãe Lisa, como os dois chamavam-na até pouco, é uma enfermeira da capital dos Estados
Unidos que, mesmo solteira, conseguiu adotar, há um ano, os dois irmãos do interior de São Paulo. Além deles, moram com ela Johanna, 5 anos, da Guatemala,
e dois filhos biológicos, já adultos.
Tati e Rogério são duas das 55 crianças brasileiras que receberam visto do governo norte-americano em 2007 para serem adotados lá, de acordo com o Departamento de Estado. Não é um número grande; só em 2005, os americanos adotaram
7906 crianças chinesas. No Brasil, as crianças só podem ser adotadas por famílias estrangeiras
depois de esgotadas todas as possibilidades no país. Além disso, os EUA, por não fazerem parte do grupo de países signatários
de uma convenção que organiza as adoções internacionais,
não são priorizados.
Lisa Foster iniciou o processo
de adoção de Johanna sozinha,
mas logo após retornar aos EUA, precisou da ajuda de um advogado. “Descobrimos
que as pessoas que facilitavam o processo e a família biológica de Johanna não eram éticas. Tentavam impedir as adoções de acontecerem”,
conta. Quatro anos depois, o mesmo advogado
ajudou
Lisa a adotar brasileiros.
A primeira parte de um processo de adoção internacional
envolve o dossiê do adotando,
entregue ao consulado brasileiro.
Ao mesmo tempo, deve haver a aprovação do Departamento
de Imigração Americano para que ela tenha visto e possa morar nos EUA.
Aprovado o dossiê, o advogado
faz a indicação de crianças
disponíveis e inicia-se um período de adaptação, em que a família deve vir para o Brasil e passar no mínimo 45 dias em companhia do futuro filho. Depois
da adoção aprovada pelo juiz, a criança recebe nova certidão
de nascimento,
de passaporte
e visto, para chegar aos EUA como cidadã
americana.
O Brasil é muito visado para adoção, pois não considera
o estado civil
do adotando. Além disso, nos Estados Unidos, é comum as famílias biológicas
entrarem na justiça. “Nosso governo é muito LENTO para remover as crianças maltratadas de sua casa e muito RÁPIDO para devolvê-las aos seus pais”, conta Patrícia Safina, 40 anos, uma professora com origem italiana de Nova York que espera aprovação de seus documentos para receber crianças brasileiras.
Mas é claro, problemas existem. Lisa, por exemplo, conta que a maior dificuldade de seus filhos do coração foi aprender
inglês. Hoje, na família Foster,todos estudam as culturas e línguas de seus países, e até decoram a casa para festas típicas. Johanna ainda tem contato com a mãe biológica; os brasileiros planejam rever a cidade onde nasceram. Patrícia também imagina como será a vida dos futuros filhos: “Eles vão falar português,
meu pai vai falar italiano e nós seremos uma família grande, feliz e
misturada!”


OK, for my non Portuguese speaking readers.... Marina Dantas, the journalist first described me as a 40 year old woman of Italian descent who lives in NYC and works in education. The journalist first quoted my answer to her question: Why are you not adopting from the United States to which I answered that "It is sad but my government is very slow to remove abused and neglected children from their homes and very quick to put them back with their abusers, i.e. parents.

The second quote goes on to answer the question of how we will communicate to which I said "I imagine that my children will speak to me in Portugese to which I will respond in Italian and we'll be one big happy mixed up family!" That's how she ended the article which btw is entitled Pais do Coração which means Parents of the Heart.

In other news: I have heard nothing from the FBI regarding grandpa's prints. I'm praying that no news is good news. Speaking of praying -- don't forget to ask God to connect us and to keep us strong and healthy during our wait -- and ask God too, to watch over us so that we may realize right from wrong and understand when His hand is guiding us where we need to be.

I love you both very much and soon, very soon we will be together. In the meantime I'm working very hard here in NYC to make your lives as easy as possible when you arrive.

Muito Amor,
Mommy

Fingerprint Trip with Gramps

Oi Bebes,

I went with grandpa a couple of days ago to get his fingerprints done again. I pray this time it works out good. The woman who took the prints knew they were for adoption and I explained to her that now I'd be behind a bit in bringing you guys home and she then stamped the card "Best Possible Prints". I was also short 1$ and she let me slide. Once again, I'm blessed by the kindness of strangers. It was funny she was even calling grandpa DAD and he was laughing. We had a good time on the M train. He reminisced a lot. He's going to be 81 in August so things around here have changed A LOT since he was a kid! He's such a great guy and I can't wait for you to meet him. You're going to love him! I'm sure of it, all his grandkids do!

In some sad news the earthquake in China is said to have left 4,000 children without parents and some thousands of parents without children. Let's pray that these adults and children find each other through adoption. Also,there are two panda's unaccounted for in Sichuan Province. I'm keeping my hopes high that they are just hanging out somewhere in another place, eating grass and laying in the shade.

Ok--don't forget to ask God to connect us, to bring us together fast so that we could be a family who walks in His love forever!

Muito Amor,
Mommy

Orphanages in Sichuan Province

Oi Bebes,

I found out today that only a handful of the 45 orphanages in Sichuan Province have yet to be heard from. It is assumed that they are OK! There have been no reported deaths, only minor injuries. There has been structual damage to their buildings, and some of the kids are sleeping in tents outstide and when it rains they go into the buses that transport them to school. BUT they are OK and that is the most important thing! God heard our prayers in a big way! But, don't forget to continue to keep them in your prayers!

xxx(kiss kiss kiss)
Muito Amor,
Mommy