Oi Bebes,
I felt God's hand at work yesterday. I was in panic mode, feeling sick to my stomach, anxiety ridden, wanted to bang my head against the wall and knock myself out so the feeling would just pass.
I begged God to do something for me, I asked and asked, and almost immediately, what I needed to happen happened. Clearly I asked for something I shouldn't have and God made it happen but since He's da bomb, that's all he did was make it happen. Nothing further and for that I am so grateful. It was like magic. It was as if God was saying "I absolutely hear you and will lend you a hand right now because you are in panic mode but know this is not my will nor my plan for you"
I know this might not make any sense to you but I wanted you to know about the power of God because it is something amazing. What I prayed for yesterday had no rhyme or reason, why I got it after so long was none other than the fact that God was hearing me loud and clear. Why nothing came of it was HIM protecting me ONCE again!
Soon He'll be protecting all of us under one roof. Please ask him as always to connect us and protect us while we wait.
Muito Muito Amor,
Mommy
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Childhood Dreams...
Oi Bebes,
I know that our childhood dreams will be much different and I feel a bit selfish telling you about mine, but I will because while some were from very early on, most were born when I was your age. And so here they are:
To be free: when I was a kid I thought that to be free meant to run all over and not just inside the gate or down the road. Now I know it to be different. Freedom is a mindset. Sometimes though, one feels freer in different places.
To travel all over the world: Ever since I could remember I've always had a very strong wanderlust. All my life I've almost always wanted to be somewhere else. As an adult I don't regret it for one second. My wanderlust made me who I am and it's not over yet. These days though, I've realized that I don't have to go too far to feel it.
To help people: I don't know how to explain this one. I think it's something that you're born with. I can't remember a time when I didn't help someone in need. That goes for animals too. Now I'm lucky enough to have a career, which marries my love of education and my childhood dream to help people. I suppose life could be worse.
To adopt: yes, I have wanted to adopt since I was very, very young. Since the minute my mother explained the concept of adoption, I knew I would do it when I grew up. I've realized that my desire to adopt has freed me from the weight that most women carry on their shoulders... the biological clock. I never heard the tic tock tic tock of that clock. Not having a biological clock has allowed me to do so many things I wouldn't have done had I married early to start a family. I have enjoyed my life immensely thus far. I look forward to now enjoying it in a different way.
To write a novel: One night some years back I was sitting on the beach with a friend and we had a nice little fire going. I was reading him bits and pieces of Verso when I realized that it was a thinly veiled novel of some fantasy that I was holding on to for years. I hated that writing the book had become a monkey on my back and like all the monkey's I've had on back in the past, I shook it off. Into the fire. Years of typed pages and hand written notes burned. It was one the most liberating things I've ever done. A couple of years ago I found an old clipboard in the garage. On the clip-board was the first chapter. I cried. Not because it was gone but because of the awesome memories I have of that fantasy -- and then I realized, it wasn't really a fantasy after-all. Now I write for different reasons. When I was a kid I guess I thought that writers only wrote novels. I was wrong. Fact remains though, that I do write, just not fiction. Well, not yet anyway.
And there you have it. I'm living out my childhood dreams. And it's all connected. I've got the freedom to travel to get my kids and to write about it in my blog. Life is really good and it's all because of you, my yet unknown children.
Muito Muito Muito Amor e Beijas
Mommy
I know that our childhood dreams will be much different and I feel a bit selfish telling you about mine, but I will because while some were from very early on, most were born when I was your age. And so here they are:
To be free: when I was a kid I thought that to be free meant to run all over and not just inside the gate or down the road. Now I know it to be different. Freedom is a mindset. Sometimes though, one feels freer in different places.
To travel all over the world: Ever since I could remember I've always had a very strong wanderlust. All my life I've almost always wanted to be somewhere else. As an adult I don't regret it for one second. My wanderlust made me who I am and it's not over yet. These days though, I've realized that I don't have to go too far to feel it.
To help people: I don't know how to explain this one. I think it's something that you're born with. I can't remember a time when I didn't help someone in need. That goes for animals too. Now I'm lucky enough to have a career, which marries my love of education and my childhood dream to help people. I suppose life could be worse.
To adopt: yes, I have wanted to adopt since I was very, very young. Since the minute my mother explained the concept of adoption, I knew I would do it when I grew up. I've realized that my desire to adopt has freed me from the weight that most women carry on their shoulders... the biological clock. I never heard the tic tock tic tock of that clock. Not having a biological clock has allowed me to do so many things I wouldn't have done had I married early to start a family. I have enjoyed my life immensely thus far. I look forward to now enjoying it in a different way.
To write a novel: One night some years back I was sitting on the beach with a friend and we had a nice little fire going. I was reading him bits and pieces of Verso when I realized that it was a thinly veiled novel of some fantasy that I was holding on to for years. I hated that writing the book had become a monkey on my back and like all the monkey's I've had on back in the past, I shook it off. Into the fire. Years of typed pages and hand written notes burned. It was one the most liberating things I've ever done. A couple of years ago I found an old clipboard in the garage. On the clip-board was the first chapter. I cried. Not because it was gone but because of the awesome memories I have of that fantasy -- and then I realized, it wasn't really a fantasy after-all. Now I write for different reasons. When I was a kid I guess I thought that writers only wrote novels. I was wrong. Fact remains though, that I do write, just not fiction. Well, not yet anyway.
And there you have it. I'm living out my childhood dreams. And it's all connected. I've got the freedom to travel to get my kids and to write about it in my blog. Life is really good and it's all because of you, my yet unknown children.
Muito Muito Muito Amor e Beijas
Mommy
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Hitting the Long Shot
Oi Bebes,
I've hit the long shot before and I'll hit it again. In the past few weeks some monkey wrenches have been thrown my way but what it comes down to in the long run is that I try harder, work more efficiently and get the job done any way I can. It's that simple and soon when I'm tucking you both in I'll look back and laugh at this mess. I'm sure of it and I PROMISE.
The one thing that I will strive to teach you is to be strong minded individuals who can have whatever they want when they put their minds to it. A brick wall stops only people who aren't strong enough to break it down, or smart enough to scale it.
As always, ask God to connect us, and protect us while we wait.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
I've hit the long shot before and I'll hit it again. In the past few weeks some monkey wrenches have been thrown my way but what it comes down to in the long run is that I try harder, work more efficiently and get the job done any way I can. It's that simple and soon when I'm tucking you both in I'll look back and laugh at this mess. I'm sure of it and I PROMISE.
The one thing that I will strive to teach you is to be strong minded individuals who can have whatever they want when they put their minds to it. A brick wall stops only people who aren't strong enough to break it down, or smart enough to scale it.
As always, ask God to connect us, and protect us while we wait.
Muito Amor,
Mommy
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