Ok Kids,
Only God knows what's going to happen in the future. We could plan and plan and plan and still, if it's not in His plan our plan does not come to pass. Missed connections and opportunities is God's hand at work, guiding us to where we need to be. That much I've learned in the past couple of years. I've come to accept things I cannot change.
Lately I've been focusing on a scripture from Ecclesiastes 7:8-9
"Better is the end of a thing than the beginning of it, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools"
For a good part of the winter of 2008/9 I focused on the doors that were closed in my life, as if I was too proud to admit that I couldn't make Brazil happen. So proud in fact that I completely missed a door that, while not busted wide open, was open enough for me to get my foot in. I think I'm going to K k k k Kathmandu -- it's really really where I'm going to.... :)
I'll keep you posted!
xxxPatricia
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Feliz Ano Novo!
Oi Bebes,
Everynight before I go to bed I pray for you guys and for all the children caught up situations such as ours. I hope that in 2009 things will be different but for now I don't have anything new to report. It's all still the same. Nothing is happening between my country and yours except that a bunch of grown-ups cannot seem to work out some wording on a letter which means nothing in the bigger scheme of things. I am very upset over this. I know you kids need a loving family, a place to call home, to grow and learn, to share and love. If I could change it in a minute I would, for all the orphans in the world but I can't. I know that your country is doing what they feel is the right thing regarding the wording and I don't see why my country can't just say "OK Brasil, have it your way". Sometimes adults are not that smart. To have children in need and have adults in want (so to speak) and not put them together to live happily ever after just doesn't make any sense to me.
So for now, as always talk to God and ask him for favors, ask him for a family and a stable loving environment, He'll give it to you I'm sure, one way or another...
xxxPatricia
Everynight before I go to bed I pray for you guys and for all the children caught up situations such as ours. I hope that in 2009 things will be different but for now I don't have anything new to report. It's all still the same. Nothing is happening between my country and yours except that a bunch of grown-ups cannot seem to work out some wording on a letter which means nothing in the bigger scheme of things. I am very upset over this. I know you kids need a loving family, a place to call home, to grow and learn, to share and love. If I could change it in a minute I would, for all the orphans in the world but I can't. I know that your country is doing what they feel is the right thing regarding the wording and I don't see why my country can't just say "OK Brasil, have it your way". Sometimes adults are not that smart. To have children in need and have adults in want (so to speak) and not put them together to live happily ever after just doesn't make any sense to me.
So for now, as always talk to God and ask him for favors, ask him for a family and a stable loving environment, He'll give it to you I'm sure, one way or another...
xxxPatricia
Monday, December 15, 2008
A Very Sad Stop Work Order
Oi Bebes,
I just received word from our attorney that my Italian police clearance finally came through, after having waited 4 months for the document. In normal circumstances I would be jumping up and down for joy. I am not, I'm incredibly saddened as I was informed by him to stop working on my dossier, that the problems between Brazil and the US regarding the Hague Convention are too vast and too complicated to hash out any time soon, if they are hashed out at all.
I just do not know what to say. God sure does work in mysterious ways and I just can't figure out why this is happening and why it's happening now. My heart hurts sooo bad in this moment but I seem to be getting used to the feeling. Since my mother's death I have become a master at maintaining my composure. Nothing has ever hurt me more than losing my mom, as you guys know -- it's the one thing we have in common thus far.
I don't see this as the end. I will not accept it as an end. I see it as the beginning of something quiet different, something I am yet unaware of. I'm guided by God's hands on a daily basis and you are too, so, with no end in sight, somehow I will move forward.
As always, before you go to bed ask God to connect us somehow, some way. I have a lot of faith in Him, I know He does no wrong.
xxxPatricia
I just received word from our attorney that my Italian police clearance finally came through, after having waited 4 months for the document. In normal circumstances I would be jumping up and down for joy. I am not, I'm incredibly saddened as I was informed by him to stop working on my dossier, that the problems between Brazil and the US regarding the Hague Convention are too vast and too complicated to hash out any time soon, if they are hashed out at all.
I just do not know what to say. God sure does work in mysterious ways and I just can't figure out why this is happening and why it's happening now. My heart hurts sooo bad in this moment but I seem to be getting used to the feeling. Since my mother's death I have become a master at maintaining my composure. Nothing has ever hurt me more than losing my mom, as you guys know -- it's the one thing we have in common thus far.
I don't see this as the end. I will not accept it as an end. I see it as the beginning of something quiet different, something I am yet unaware of. I'm guided by God's hands on a daily basis and you are too, so, with no end in sight, somehow I will move forward.
As always, before you go to bed ask God to connect us somehow, some way. I have a lot of faith in Him, I know He does no wrong.
xxxPatricia
Thursday, December 4, 2008
State of International Adoption
Oi Bebes,
I'm sooo incredibly sad to report that on November 24th when both Consular Officers were to meet to discuss the Hague Convention on International Adoption and did not The meeting once again did not take place and now may not take place until after the new year. It is safe now to say that more than likely I will have to start from scratch as all my documents will officially expire in mid January.
In a legnthy discussion today with the Director of my agency he reported that both sides, Brazil and the US are in disagreement with the wording on two important documents. I could hear in his voice how upset he was over this situation. He just sighed and said he simply didn't know what to tell me or the other families. He told me he got very upset with a Judge in Rio when personally discussing the situation with him. The Director of my agency said that it absolutely baffled him that a country with millions of children living on the streets and countless children living in orphanages would close their doors to adopting children out to the United States. It seemed to him that the judge was very smug in saying that Brazil placed 27 children in US homes last year! Out of millions, I just don't get it.
Even more heartbreaking is the fact that it is estimated that over 75% of reputable, long standing agencies who have placed thousands of children with forever families will cease to function by the end of the year as the funds, public and private are no longer widely available. He told me that it broke his heart to have to let go more than half his staff especially during hard economic times but that our agency will remain standing and be able to continue with its advocacy and humanitarian work.
And so, in my last post we prayed for our little Russian boy... now let's pray for us and for orphans all over the world and for the families that are waiting to be together:
Dear God, we ask that you continue to watch over all the orphans of the world as well as all the at-risk children. We ask that you prepare us to help them and give us the streghnth and the smarts to do so in a timely fashion. We know that every day children die on the streets and at the hands of abusers and in orphanages, but now we ask that you minimze their suffering, their seperation anxiety, their broken hearts, their hunger. We know you will offer them comfort in their time of need and we thank you for that. Please begin the end of their suffering, however you choose.
And please God, we ask that you unite us somehow, someway, and soon. I promise you my kids will take care of other kids as I will teach them compassion and right action. I'll also teach them to walk with you and never to doubt you. Amen...
OK BEBES, just as always before you go to sleep, ask God to connect us and make this road less bumpy for all involved, everyone.
xxxMuito Amor
p.s.
Eu não o acharei nenhuma questão o que ele. Eu nunca abandonarei em você. É minhas crianças e eu farei algo eu posso para você; abandonarei minha vida como sei que agora tê-lo ambos seguro nos meus braços. Amo-o todo muito e plenamente sou cometido a fazer o que está correto por você.
Amo-o
Mommy
I'm sooo incredibly sad to report that on November 24th when both Consular Officers were to meet to discuss the Hague Convention on International Adoption and did not The meeting once again did not take place and now may not take place until after the new year. It is safe now to say that more than likely I will have to start from scratch as all my documents will officially expire in mid January.
In a legnthy discussion today with the Director of my agency he reported that both sides, Brazil and the US are in disagreement with the wording on two important documents. I could hear in his voice how upset he was over this situation. He just sighed and said he simply didn't know what to tell me or the other families. He told me he got very upset with a Judge in Rio when personally discussing the situation with him. The Director of my agency said that it absolutely baffled him that a country with millions of children living on the streets and countless children living in orphanages would close their doors to adopting children out to the United States. It seemed to him that the judge was very smug in saying that Brazil placed 27 children in US homes last year! Out of millions, I just don't get it.
Even more heartbreaking is the fact that it is estimated that over 75% of reputable, long standing agencies who have placed thousands of children with forever families will cease to function by the end of the year as the funds, public and private are no longer widely available. He told me that it broke his heart to have to let go more than half his staff especially during hard economic times but that our agency will remain standing and be able to continue with its advocacy and humanitarian work.
And so, in my last post we prayed for our little Russian boy... now let's pray for us and for orphans all over the world and for the families that are waiting to be together:
Dear God, we ask that you continue to watch over all the orphans of the world as well as all the at-risk children. We ask that you prepare us to help them and give us the streghnth and the smarts to do so in a timely fashion. We know that every day children die on the streets and at the hands of abusers and in orphanages, but now we ask that you minimze their suffering, their seperation anxiety, their broken hearts, their hunger. We know you will offer them comfort in their time of need and we thank you for that. Please begin the end of their suffering, however you choose.
And please God, we ask that you unite us somehow, someway, and soon. I promise you my kids will take care of other kids as I will teach them compassion and right action. I'll also teach them to walk with you and never to doubt you. Amen...
OK BEBES, just as always before you go to sleep, ask God to connect us and make this road less bumpy for all involved, everyone.
xxxMuito Amor
p.s.
Eu não o acharei nenhuma questão o que ele. Eu nunca abandonarei em você. É minhas crianças e eu farei algo eu posso para você; abandonarei minha vida como sei que agora tê-lo ambos seguro nos meus braços. Amo-o todo muito e plenamente sou cometido a fazer o que está correto por você.
Amo-o
Mommy
A Little Russian Boy
Oi Bebes,
On November 20th in my last post I wrote that my agency had called me a couple of times and I didn't feel like calling them back because I didn't want to hear any bad news. Well, when I finally did get in touch with Kathy she asked me if I would consider a 5 year old Russian boy. I always promised myself I would take my first referral regardless of age, race, or gender. I did take it. I was sick to my stomach for a few days mulling him over in my head. He was ill and he needed extensive plastic surgery. Even as I write this my eyes are filling up with tears for this child. Could he had been your brother? Oh yeah he could have been. Could I have afforded his medical bills? No way. Should I have taken him in because of the promise I made to myself? No, I shouldn't have because my agency is fully aware of what kind of kids I requested and from where. I didn't pick Brazil because I threw a dart at a map. I picked Brazil for so many reasons, some very deep and some very practical. Plus, I'm so used to you guys, to the idea of you guys. I know that God sent that boy my way because it was a test in honesty with myself. I am finally aware of the fact that I am not Wonder Woman. I would have never been able to support a household and emotionally and financially support a sick child while working full time. Believe me if I had the money I'd have done it in a heart beat. I've never played the lotto so much in my life than since I started this adoption process...When I win every dime will go to orphaned children. Every dime.
I want us to pray for our little 5 year old Russian boy:
Dear God, please watch over this little boy and please let him find a forever family that will love and care for him the way he or any child deserves to be cared for. Please let him live a peaceful life and please let his emotional and physical pain subside and his days become bright and filled with hope.
As always bebes, please ask God to connect and please ask Him fix this mess with the Hague Convention. Amen.
(I'm writing a seperate post on the Hague)
Muito Amor
Mommy
On November 20th in my last post I wrote that my agency had called me a couple of times and I didn't feel like calling them back because I didn't want to hear any bad news. Well, when I finally did get in touch with Kathy she asked me if I would consider a 5 year old Russian boy. I always promised myself I would take my first referral regardless of age, race, or gender. I did take it. I was sick to my stomach for a few days mulling him over in my head. He was ill and he needed extensive plastic surgery. Even as I write this my eyes are filling up with tears for this child. Could he had been your brother? Oh yeah he could have been. Could I have afforded his medical bills? No way. Should I have taken him in because of the promise I made to myself? No, I shouldn't have because my agency is fully aware of what kind of kids I requested and from where. I didn't pick Brazil because I threw a dart at a map. I picked Brazil for so many reasons, some very deep and some very practical. Plus, I'm so used to you guys, to the idea of you guys. I know that God sent that boy my way because it was a test in honesty with myself. I am finally aware of the fact that I am not Wonder Woman. I would have never been able to support a household and emotionally and financially support a sick child while working full time. Believe me if I had the money I'd have done it in a heart beat. I've never played the lotto so much in my life than since I started this adoption process...When I win every dime will go to orphaned children. Every dime.
I want us to pray for our little 5 year old Russian boy:
Dear God, please watch over this little boy and please let him find a forever family that will love and care for him the way he or any child deserves to be cared for. Please let him live a peaceful life and please let his emotional and physical pain subside and his days become bright and filled with hope.
As always bebes, please ask God to connect and please ask Him fix this mess with the Hague Convention. Amen.
(I'm writing a seperate post on the Hague)
Muito Amor
Mommy
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Another Meeting and the Mountains
Oi Bebes,
I spent 4 beautiful days in the Great Smoky Mountains with Aunt Laura. It was a nice trip, hiking around, being so high up, kinda like I was in heaven. I went there because I wanted to feel closer to my mother, grandma Rosie. It's like she's around me in the mountains, her and God. It's almost a year, on November 28, it will be a year that she's gone. I miss her so much there are no words to describe how bad I feel. I want to thank you bebes for getting me over the initial shock of losing my mother. I was kept incredibly busy doing things for the adoption and you both filled a void in my heart. It hurts me that I can't do the same thing for you both right now. I just want to bring you home to Glendale and love you and cherish you and give you security and teach you everything I know. When I was in the mountains I thought about you both constantly and how you might feel being coddled by the sky, the woods, the clouds. I've attached a picture of the cabin that Aunt Laura and I stayed at, and I thought about you guys on the deck (well, actually climbing down it and it made me nervous! lol). Soon though, one day I'll bring you there and after all day of hiking we'll start a little fire, lean back in the jacuzzi, and relax in each others arms -- we'll be a family, albeit a tired one!
Another meeting is set for Monday November 24 in Rio. I truly hope that the meeting will actually take place and that all will be ironed out. I'm remaining positive. Yesterday I received an e-mail from our Brazil specialist and today she called and left a message. I have to be honest -- I'm not that much in the mood for any bad news and so I haven't listened to her message yet or returned her e-mail. I will though figure things out in the morning and report back soon.
As always, remember to ask God to connect us somehow, some way. To the connectivity regard, I've been thinking that I might come to you both. Volunteer a few months out of my life, dossier in hand -- I'll write more about that when I figure out if I could actually do it. I've always got something up my sleeve, always a plan B.
xxxMiuto Miuto AMOR --
Mommy
I spent 4 beautiful days in the Great Smoky Mountains with Aunt Laura. It was a nice trip, hiking around, being so high up, kinda like I was in heaven. I went there because I wanted to feel closer to my mother, grandma Rosie. It's like she's around me in the mountains, her and God. It's almost a year, on November 28, it will be a year that she's gone. I miss her so much there are no words to describe how bad I feel. I want to thank you bebes for getting me over the initial shock of losing my mother. I was kept incredibly busy doing things for the adoption and you both filled a void in my heart. It hurts me that I can't do the same thing for you both right now. I just want to bring you home to Glendale and love you and cherish you and give you security and teach you everything I know. When I was in the mountains I thought about you both constantly and how you might feel being coddled by the sky, the woods, the clouds. I've attached a picture of the cabin that Aunt Laura and I stayed at, and I thought about you guys on the deck (well, actually climbing down it and it made me nervous! lol). Soon though, one day I'll bring you there and after all day of hiking we'll start a little fire, lean back in the jacuzzi, and relax in each others arms -- we'll be a family, albeit a tired one!
Another meeting is set for Monday November 24 in Rio. I truly hope that the meeting will actually take place and that all will be ironed out. I'm remaining positive. Yesterday I received an e-mail from our Brazil specialist and today she called and left a message. I have to be honest -- I'm not that much in the mood for any bad news and so I haven't listened to her message yet or returned her e-mail. I will though figure things out in the morning and report back soon.
As always, remember to ask God to connect us somehow, some way. To the connectivity regard, I've been thinking that I might come to you both. Volunteer a few months out of my life, dossier in hand -- I'll write more about that when I figure out if I could actually do it. I've always got something up my sleeve, always a plan B.
xxxMiuto Miuto AMOR --
Mommy
Thursday, October 23, 2008
US/Brazil Consulate Meeting
Oi Bebes,
I received the following e-mail this afternoon:
Good Afternoon!
I am sorry to inform you that the meeting yesterday at the US Consulate
was cancelled. All we know at this point is that they are in the
process of rescheduling.
Once a new date has been confirmed, I will let everyone know.
As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Kathy,
Brazil Coordinator
I'm upset and I'm pissed off. I don't know what to say or think.
Back in June when we had some other set backs I told you guys to keep in mind that His timing is perfect and now on a daily basis I have to remember that, and believe me I'm struggling with it. I know things will work out the way they're intended, the way they're supposed to work out. I keep on telling myself that.
I look back at this whole blog and I think, wow, some of the things I wrote months ago perhaps were meant to prepare me for today -- life is for learning, all great things in your life you have to fight for, and a family is what you make of it.
Whatever it takes bebes, whatever it takes.
Don't forget to ask God to connect us, talk to Him before you fall asleep, ask Him what's up and soon we'll find the answers.
xxxmuitomuitomuito AMOR
Mommy
I received the following e-mail this afternoon:
Good Afternoon!
I am sorry to inform you that the meeting yesterday at the US Consulate
was cancelled. All we know at this point is that they are in the
process of rescheduling.
Once a new date has been confirmed, I will let everyone know.
As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Kathy,
Brazil Coordinator
I'm upset and I'm pissed off. I don't know what to say or think.
Back in June when we had some other set backs I told you guys to keep in mind that His timing is perfect and now on a daily basis I have to remember that, and believe me I'm struggling with it. I know things will work out the way they're intended, the way they're supposed to work out. I keep on telling myself that.
I look back at this whole blog and I think, wow, some of the things I wrote months ago perhaps were meant to prepare me for today -- life is for learning, all great things in your life you have to fight for, and a family is what you make of it.
Whatever it takes bebes, whatever it takes.
Don't forget to ask God to connect us, talk to Him before you fall asleep, ask Him what's up and soon we'll find the answers.
xxxmuitomuitomuito AMOR
Mommy
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
